R J Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban
by yami no dawn
Summary: PoA from Lupin's point of view. Will not stick to original story. RLSB. Slash. T for language and weirdness. FINALLY COMPLETE
1. Prologue: Orion

**R. J. Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban**

A/N: Yes, I'm aware that I seem to have become obsessed by this pairing at the moment, but I found this on my computer and it's been jumping around in my head and forcing me to write. If you don't like it, do tell me not to continue. However, if you DO like it, tell me to continue. I still don't own any recognisable characters and places. This plot will probably be quite different to the original PoA, simply because I seem to have misplaced both the book, and the movie and will have to work from memory. LoL. See you on the other side. Provided you actually get that far.

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**Prologue - Orion**

Remus John Lupin tossed the _Daily Prophet _newspaper on to the wobbly coffee table, a sneer of disgust evident upon his usually placid and comfortable features. He tossed tawny hair out of his amber eyes; fingernails digging into the already mostly destroyed fabric of the tatty armchair he was sat in. He picked irritably at his fraying robes with his free hand.

The offending newspaper contained news of a person whose absence had left a throbbing ache in the heart of the werewolf, long awaited news, of which he had never dared hope.

"Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban."

His traitorous heart felt lighter and stinging tears pricked at the back of his eyes. Sirius. Even his name struck a deep chord in Remus's memory - a name he had forcibly removed from his thoughts that fateful day twelve years ago.

"**_Remus! Remus, you know I didn't do it! I wouldn't! Remmie please!"_**

"**_I'm sorry Sirius. I honestly thought you were on our side."_**

"**_Remmie! Please don't do this to me! You know I didn't do it! How could I?"_**

"**_Sirius I-"_**

"**_How could you let me go down for this!"_**

Remus had watched, frozen, bottom lip trembling, as Sirius was dragged away, his wand taken from him and snapped. Then he had turned his head to hide the tears. His childhood friend had killed Peter Pettigrew and countless Muggles in cold-blood, he had sided with the Dark Lord. He had betrayed them and gotten Lily and James killed. And now, according to the _Prophet, _he was after Harry Potter. A load of tripe that was, surely? Sirius would never try to harm Lily and James's son, would he? Perhaps he would. For the moment, Remus had no choice but to believe what everyone else did. After all, there was no evidence to prove otherwise.

Remus sighed in annoyance and threw the paper out of the window, narrowly missing the ratty looking owl that was about to fly through it.

"Oh! I'm sorry Orion!" He apologised to the owl, taking the letter it huffily offered him, before flying back out of the window. He rubbed his temples as he scanned the letter.

_Dear Remus,_

_As I am sure you are aware, a new situation seems to have presented itself, in the form of one Sirius Black. I must ask you Mr Lupin; do you have any idea how he escaped? I also have a number of other things I need to discuss with you. Would it be acceptable for me to visit sometime soon? How is the twenty-third of August for you? Do send Orion back with your answer. He is a lovely owl by the way. How long have you had him?_

_Yours_

_Albus Dumbledore._

He sank down into a rickety chair by the table, summoned a quill and began to write his reply.

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_I am indeed aware of Siri-No, Black's latest escapade, however I am in the dark as to how he managed to achieve this end. The twenty-third is acceptable and in answer to your final question, I have had Orion almost twelve years._

_R. J. Lupin_

He sent the reply off with Orion, and with another sigh, settled himself back in the armchair with a large glass of firewhiskey, wondering if he had made the right decision not to reveal Sirius's secret to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

To him, it seemed that ever since the Dark Lord's demise twelve years ago, his life had gotten a whole lot harder. It had seemed simple, once he had graduated from Hogwarts, to join the Order of the Phoenix and aid Dumbledore in the fight against Voldemort. It had seemed so natural to trust his friends' integrity without question, to take their lives for granted. But once the Potters were murdered and Harry became the unknowing hero of the wizarding world things had become much more complex. His friendships seemed doomed, first Peter's death, then Sirius's imprisonment, and then, finally, the death of Lily and James.

Now Sirius was once again free and Remus didn't know how he felt about that. Dumbledore had all but ordered him to go back to the place that hoarded his fondest memories like a collection of stamps to teach the son of the two friends whom Sirius had supposedly sold to the Dark Lord. Oh yeah, things most certainly weren't simple any more.

And to top it all off, the damned Dark Lord seemed to have a plot for his revival every year since Harry had started Hogwarts, which left Remus to ponder on what he could possibly think of next.

He rubbed his temples, trying to ward off the imminent headache.

He was tired of this.

The twenty-third came far too fast for his liking. He had never before been visited by Hogwarts' seemingly omniscient Headmaster, and indeed had very little desire to be visited this particular time. However, like the good obedient little ex-student he was he brought out the lemon drops and brewed a fresh pot of tea in anticipation of his former professor's arrival.

As usual, Albus was neither early, nor late; he simply appeared just as the battered grandfather clock in the hall chimed midday. He was dressed in particularly gaudy pink and green robes and, not for the first time, Remus thanked every deity he could think of that he didn't have sensitive neighbours.

"Good day Albus," he greeted, not quite sure whether or not it was actually afternoon since Albus had appeared on the seventh chime. He ushered the professor in and offered him tea and lemon drops.

"I'm sorry its such a mess, I can't- Never mind." He apologised quietly.

"It's a lot different to how it used to be," the headmaster observed. "Since Sirius left." He noted the visible twitch the werewolf made when that name was mentioned.

"I don't know what you're talking about Albus," Remus denied, sliding his eyes carefully away from those of the twinkling professor.

"Remus, I am here to make you an offer."

"An offer?" Remus looked up. "What kind of offer?"

"A job offer. I am requesting that you become Hogwarts' Defence against the Dark Arts professor."

Remus leaned back in his chair, allowing the headmaster's words to sink in. "I don't think the parents would want a werewolf teaching their children Albus."

"They don't have to know."

"But when I-"

"I have had Severus working on a new potion for me. He has just finished it. It is called the Wolfsbane potion and it will allow you to keep your mind during the transformation. You will be harmless."

A fingernail made its way to his lip. "But will he let me have it? Severus was never one to forget an old grudge."

"He will."

The hand dropped to his lap. "When you came here, you already knew that I would agree, didn't you?"

"I had an inkling. I thought perhaps that you would like to see the son of your best friend and perhaps protect him from certain dangers." Albus popped another lemon drop into his mouth.

Remus wrung his hands. He knew that the chances of seeing Sirius at Hogwarts were pretty high compared to everywhere else. On the other hand, if Sirius really was trying to kill Harry, what if he succeeded? Remus would never forgive himself if he could have been there to save him, but instead chose not to leave the relative safety of his home.

"Incidentally, do you have a dog?"

"A dog?" The werewolf's traitorous heart skipped a few beats. "What kind of a dog? Why?"

"There is one sitting just inside your gate. A big black mongrel. Looks something like a Grim." He watched the colour drain from the werewolf's face.

"P-Probably a stray," he whispered unconvincingly.

Albus smiled. "I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts Mr Lupin."

He disapparated with a bright sounding pop.

Remus sighed deeply to himself and wandered over to the window to examine this 'stray'. Albus was right, it was a huge black dog, sitting on its haunches just inside his front gate. And his wards. The worst thing was, he recognised that huge Grim-like animal and the way it was looking at him through the window.

Overcome by irritation, he slammed the window shut and yanked across the torn drapes. Did Albus know _everything?_


	2. Skeletal Fingers

_A/N: Thanks to: **Crystal Blue Dry Ice, lostjackal and KawaiiTenshi27 -** incidentally, did I imply in the last chapter that Dumbledore knew about the illegal animagus thing? I wasn't sure. _

_I still don't own recognisable characters or places - if you recognise it, it probably belongs to JK Rowling. I forgot to mention in the last chapter, in case you didn't notice, this story is pretty flashback prone. It will STILL be RLSB in future chapters. Flashbacks are** bold italics**_

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**Chapter One - Skeletal Fingers**

His compartment in the Hogwarts express was warm and comfortable. He hadn't realised quite how much he had missed this journey, and he almost expected to look up and see James and Peter grinning at him, sitting opposite and Sirius sitting next to him, pulling faces at the people walking past or stuffing his face with chocolate frogs that Remus himself snatched and ate when he looked away. He could almost hear the sound of Lily and James's banter.

"**_Evans! Go out with me?"_**

"**_Oh grow up Potter, you pathetic excuse for a wizard!"_**

Remus sighed and wrapped his tattered cloak around himself, deciding that if he closed his eyes the memories would fade and hopefully, no one would come in and disturb him. He was tired, having barely recovered from the last full moon.

Voices approached and a vaguely familiar scent filled the werewolf's nostrils, a scent that he couldn't quite place; yet seemed so achingly familiar.

The compartment door opened.

"This is the only compartment left," a girl said, dropping into the seat opposite Lupin.

"What about-?"

"He's asleep."

The compartment door closed. "Who is he d'you think?" A male voice.

"Professor R. J. Lupin." The girl replied and Remus could picture her rolling her eyes.

"Do you know _everything?_" The other voice questioned incredulously.

"Its on his suitcase Ronald," the girl sighed exasperatedly.

Remus smiled to himself behind his robes. She was pretty observant.

"Hey guys, do you think he's really asleep?" The other male voice asked.

"Why?"

"I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Harry?"

"You know Sirius Black? Mr Weasly said he's coming after me."

Remus bit back a sharp gasp. These people sitting opposite him were Harry Potter and his friends. That certainly explained the familiarity of his scent.

"How come Dad didn't tell me?"

That made the other boy Ronald Weasly. And thus, the girl must be Hermione Granger. They reminded him a lot of his own Hogwarts days.

A sharp screech and the Hogwarts express ground to a halt and a sweeping cold rushed over them. Having grown up in the generation of Voldemort's last 'reign', Remus quickly identified the feel of this damp cold as Dementors. But why were Dementors coming aboard the Hogwarts Express? Surely Albus hadn't authorised this. The werewolf shuddered as the sight of Lily and James's bodies appeared in his mind, Sirius being dragged away, screaming. . His very first transformation. With a visible effort, he pushed away the painful memories and brought back some of his best. Sirius, James and Peter running with him in the Forbidden Forest..

Just as a skeletal hand pushed the compartment door open, Remus flung his robes out of the way and stood up, wand pointing straight at the offending creature.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A flash of white light and a huge dog shot out of the tip of his wand, chasing that overpowering coldness out of the train. The lights flickered back on and warmth began to return to the train. Remus stowed his wand away in his trouser pocket and crouched down beside Harry who was just coming around from some sort of fit. He pulled out some chocolate and handed it to the boy.

"Here. Eat this. It'll help."

Harry took the chocolate and nervously nibbled at the edges. Remus smiled weakly.

"What were those things?" Hermione questioned weakly.

"Dementors. The guards of Azkaban. They must be searching for Sirius Black." He suppressed a shudder. "I'm going to go have a word with the driver."

Something wasn't right about this picture. Sirius had betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort and then killed Peter Pettigrew and now he was after Harry to get back into his master's good books? It didn't seem right to Remus. Why would he kill Peter? James had practically been a brother to Sirius, and Harry was his godchild. Not to mention the fact that he had been sure that Sirius despised the Dark Lord and all his beliefs.

He sighed again and strode up to the driver's compartment. May as well do what he was expected to do. The driver did not look pleased. The lights flickered back on and heat rushed through the train.

"Dementors on my train!" The driver all but exploded. "I will _not_ stand for this! See to it that you tell Dumbledore I will not stand for this!"

Remus ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, I don't like it either. But I highly doubt this is Albus's doing."

"Yes, well. Are the students all safe?" He tapped a few buttons on the complicated looking controls and vaguely waved a hand over them.

"I should think so. I'll be patrolling the carriages for the rest of the journey I suspect."

"Have fun."

Remus rolled his eyes. The driver of the Hogwarts express clearly was not much of a social man.

The remainder of the journey was thankfully uneventful.

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The Great Hall was exactly how he remembered it. The high ceiling that mirrored the sky and the floating candles that lit the room. The four long tables, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and the teacher's table at the head of the room. Albus sat in the largest chair, in the centre, as he always had. On his right sat Minerva McGonnagal and on his left, Severus Snape. Beside Snape was the small figure of Professor Filius Flitwick, head of Ravenclaw and beside him was Sybil Trelawny, looking as mystical as ever. Hagrid sat beside Minerva and there was a space between him and Professor Sprout. Next to professor Sprout was Professor Vector. The other professors he did not recognise. 

He took his seat quietly, and after a whispered discussion with Albus about the Dementors on the Hogwarts Express, settled back to watch the sorting.

When it came to Albus's speech, the Headmaster was looking uncharacteristically sombre. It was with a cold, terrified heart that Remus listened to him announce that the Dementors would be surrounding the school for the entire year, or until Black was captured.

He suddenly lost his appetite, and even as the food was laid out before him, he merely tossed it around the plate with his fork.

"Ye A'right Remus?" Hagrid asked, nudging him so hard he almost toppled off the chair.

"I'm fine Hagrid. Just a little tired."

"Ah well. Don't be overdoin' it on yer firs' day now will ye?"

"You either, _Professor _Hagrid. Congratulations by the way." He forced a forkful of chicken into his mouth.

Hagrid puffed out his chest proudly.

Remus smiled and hid his face in his goblet, watching the Gryffindor table over the rim. He could almost see the marauders over there. Sirius being flung off the bench for being a jerk, Peter laughing weakly and shovelling food into his mouth, and James eyeing Lily across the table.

He blinked to dissipate the vision and found the emerald eyes of Harry Potter fixed on his own amber eyes. He looked so much like James... Remus smiled and raised his goblet to the Gryffindor. He looked away.

Remus had a sudden feeling that it hadn't been at all wise for him to come back to Hogwarts. But still, at least this year wouldn't be boring. He leaned back in his chair, surveying the room with barely veiled apprehension.

_This will be a year to remember, _he mused.

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A/N:SIGH I'm aware that particular chapter sounded more like a filler than anything else. I'll get the next one up as soon as I've written it. Bye for Now. 


	3. Of Lesson Plans and Large Closets

A/N: Guess what? I still don't own em! A reminder: _**bold italics**_ are flashbacks. Also, I originally wrote the flashbacks in this chapter in the past tense, but it got a little confusing so I switched to the present. There will probably be lots of mistakes in that department at least.

Thanks to: **Crystal Blue Dry Ice**, l**ostjackal **and **KawaiiTenshi27** for reviewing the last chapter.

and in answer to your question **KawaiiTenshi27**: I seem to have misplaced both the movie _and _the book, so this is based entirely on my memory and my imagination. So feel free to correct me if I screw something up.

I will mainly be updating at weekends because I have ridiculously small amounts of time to myself. I hope to get at least one more chapter up this weekend, provided I don't get stuck writing it.

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**Of Lesson Plans and Questionably Large Closets**

Remus watched the flames in the sizable fireplace adorning the Teacher's Lounge devour the dead wood placed there for that purpose. He contemplated the parchment laid out on the desk in front of him and sighed. His eyes flickered towards the sheet of parchment next to his teaching timetable entitled 'Third Year Gryffindor/Slytherin Lesson Plan.' The rest of the sheet was blank. The feathers of his large grey quill tapped against the side of his face as he thought carefully. A Gryffindor/Slytherin class. He couldn't imagine this going well at all. During his time attending Hogwarts, pairing up Gryffindor and Slytherin classes was always a bad idea - the rivalry between them had always been much more than simple House competition, but it was Albus's plan. He couldn't do anything about it.

Remus plucked the quill out of the air, dipped it in the bottle of red ink, and poised it above the page. It hovered there for a moment, before the scarred hands that held it let it fall on to the parchment, splashing red ink all over the page.

He groaned irritably and waved his hand over the offending object, muttering a cleaning spell under his breath. His wand remained in a holster on his hip. He barely ever used it. His wand was for strong, concentrated spells, nothing like what he would need to use during his stay at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

A brief glance around the room showed him that Minerva was already marking her sixth year essays and Severus was scrawling in blood coloured ink over a certain unfortunate person's summer homework. Judging from the hisses and mutters of 'incompetent fools' said person was a Gryffindor. Filius Flitwick was perched next to the Wizarding Wireless drinking a cup of tea. This drew the DADA Professor's attention to his own cup. Sweetened with honey, as was his preference. He lifted it to his lips and took a sip.

Filius turned up the Wireless.

"-Black is still on the loose! The Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge assures the public that once this traitorous murderer is caught, he will receive something special. A Kiss from one of the acclaimed Dementors of Azkaban."

Remus choked on his tea, spraying his mouthful across the room and breaking out into a fit of powerful coughs.

"Oh dear," Minerva tutted. "Are you okay Remus?"

"Yes!" He choked out. "Yes! Fine! I think I'll just go for a walk.." He all but ran out of the room, honey sweetened tea and Gryffindor/Slytherin lesson plan forgotten. The voice of the Wireless followed him out.

"Surely a man like Black deserves no less?"

The corridors of Hogwarts were as cold and emotionless as usual, but Remus didn't notice. His swift stride did not break until he reached a door. The door of a storeroom. There was a golden plaque on the door, labelled "Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration Resource Room."

The empty lesson plan pushed the aching memory of Sirius from his brain. Perhaps there was something in this room that would give him inspiration. He opened the door and stepped in, raising his wand.

"_Lumos."_

His eyes fell over the huge shelves of books and cages, props and aids. Something in his mind pulled him further in to the seemingly endless storeroom. A figure at what appeared to be the back of the storeroom caught his eye. As he moved closer, he realised that what he had automatically taken for one person was actually two. From their height he would guess at Seventh Years, but it really was too dark to see. Teeth indented his lower lip, as he pulled his wistful gaze away from the couple and cleared his throat.

Predictably, they jumped guiltily apart, mumbling apologies. Remus was thankful that the darkness hid his indulgent smile. With the light of his wand, he pointed them in the direction of the exit and bid them not to take any detours on their way to their next class.

The cupboard to his left began to rattle.

Ten minutes later, the werewolf emerged from the room, a crate hovering complacently in front of him. He had discovered the answer to his Gryffindor/Slytherin problem. Unfortunately, this was the least of his worries.

Darkness was falling, closing in around the castle, as Remus made his way over to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and his personal office. He transferred the creature in the box to a suitably threatening closet and locked the room. The voice from the Wizarding Wireless news pried its way back into his mind. "Black deserves no less."

He was so distracted by his thoughts, that he barely acknowledged the figure of a certain Overgrown Bat stalking the corridors. If it weren't for this particular person deciding to grace Remus with the honour of his speech, the werewolf wouldn't have noticed him.

"Ah. Lupin. Never thought I'd see the day when you came back here."

Remus stiffened and forced a polite smile on to his features. "Severus."

The Potions Master looked like he had just bitten a lemon. A particularly sour lemon. "You want to be careful. I know something that I could _accidentally _let slip during one of my classes. Wouldn't that be disastrous for you?"

He forcibly held the smile in place, resisting the urge to draw his wand and hex the Bat into the seventh level of Hell.

Severus hissed irritably. "Your Potion will be on your desk when it is needed." He swept off, clearly in a bit of a huff.

"Good night Severus!" Remus called back good-naturedly whilst mentally cursing the Slytherin in every language he knew. (English... English... and English.)

"**_Surpensortia!" The greasy haired Slytherin screeches._**

"**_Petrificus Totalus." Returns a taller boy, also with dark hair, albeit much less greasy. _**

"**_Wingardium Leviosa." _**

_**The snake is tossed out of the window by James's spell. **_

"**_Hurry up! We're going to be late for Transfiguration!" Remus, small and skinny runs into the picture, robes slipping off his shoulders. He skids to a halt in front of the scene, mouth forming a small 'o' at the situation. "What...?"_**

"**_Never mind him, Moony." The dark haired boy grabs one of Remus's arms and turns him around. _**

"**_Yeah," James added. "McGonnagal will throw a fit if we're late." He grips Remus's other arm._**

"**_But we can't just leave him-"_**

"**_Slughorn or Filch will find him. Come on Remmie, you don't want to be late do you?" _**

Remus shook himself out of his memories, feeling the heavy blanket of guilt, confusion and anguish that came with the memories of his past settle back over his shoulders. It became more difficult for him to stand upright, so he made his way to his quarters, slightly slouched and hunched over.

Upon reaching his rooms, he dropped down into an armchair, lit a fire in the grate and poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. He swirled it uselessly around the bottom of the crystal glass, contemplating the comforting amber colour. On the other side of his room, a silver bowl sullenly oozed silver vapour. Along the rim were runes that spelled out his name.

A bowl full of his most irritating, painful or confusing memories, there for closer examination whenever he needed it. Some of his best memories occupied that bowl also, to allow him reprieves from his imminent depression, but even they became cause for more questions and confusion of late.

Remus was sure that anyone who got close to him was in danger. His first friends for example. Peter Pettigrew - murdered by another friend, James Potter - Killed by the Dark Lord, Lily Potter - Also killed by the Dark Lord and Sirius Black - Escapee of Azkaban after twelve years of imprisonment and murderer of Peter Pettigrew. And look at himself. Sat in an armchair, fearing his own memories, with confused depression settled in a discomforting blanket around his shoulders. A glass of untouched firewhiskey in his hand, anticipating and fearing any further news of Sirius.

It appeared his Penseive required adding to.

Silvery threads of whispering memory, drawn out from his mind by the ten and a half inch Cherry and Phoenix feather wand, slithered into the Penseive, swirling around a few times before sinking deep into the quivering mass.

A sick-sounding pop alerted him to the presence of a wizened head in his fireplace.

"Ah! Good Evening Remus. I trust your lessons are going well?"

The werewolf knelt before the fire. "As well as can be expected." He rubbed his temples. "I don't think I'm cut out for teaching."

"Oh nonsense. I seem to remember Remus, that you were once close to Sirius Black."

Ah! Now _here_ was Albus's real reason for stopping by. "We were good friends. During our time at Hogwarts that is."

"I see. Well, the question I've been meaning to ask you is thus: If he came to you, asking for aid, would you refuse?"

Remus sighed tiredly. "Albus, that is the question I have been asking myself since his escape. I like to think that I would be able to refuse, but if it came down to it, well, I don't know. It's difficult to forget."

The floating head nodded. "I would expect no more. Thank you Remus. Good night."

As usual, the werewolf had the strange sense that he had told the Headmaster even more than he had thought, revealing his emotions in his body language. Once again, his conversation with Albus had seemed, at best, whimsical on the outside, but if you scratched all the way down, Remus was sure you would find something significant that he had accidentally revealed to the Headmaster.

A sharp throbbing signified the beginning of a painful tension headache. He was struck again with the thought that perhaps, he should have told Albus about what Sirius, James and Peter had done for him, but every time he opened his mouth to betray this particular secret, the words choked in his throat. He could not do it. Despite everything he had done, Sirius had risked a lot to learn the Animagus spell. And it was all for Remus. He could not betray that.

_**The dark haired youth leaps through the portrait, almost crushing the smaller boy about to leave. He grips Remus by both shoulders and hugs him happily. **_

"**_We did it!" He announces._**

_**Remus blinks owlishly. **_

"**_What this idiot means to say," James corrects, "is that we have perfected the Animagus spell."_**

"**_Yes!" _**

_**Remus finds himself squeezed painfully again.**_

"**_It took us three years, but we finally did it! Now you don't have to be alone!"_**

"**_Even I can do it!" Squeaks Peter, happy to be able to aid the werewolf. _**

_**Remus is deliriously happy. He brushes tears from his eyes, grinning and laughing. It is great to have friends.**_

Remus wiped a solitary tear from his cheek, and blinked back the others that threatened to fall. He snatched up the glass of firewhiskey and downed the whole lot, grateful for the distraction of the hot burning down his throat.

It was not called firewhiskey for no reason, after all.

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A/N: See you next chapter! If you haven't died of boredom already 


	4. Liberation

A/N: I meant to get this chapter up sooner, but I've been shut in my room all day tidying :shudder: This chapter has also been fighting me all the way. Something like "NO! You idiot! That's not how that happens! Stop being so depressive!" And otherwise kicking my proverbial backside. Thanks to **KawaiiTenshi2**7, **lostjakal **and** PiperLeoEnternally**for reviewing

PS: I still don't own 'em. That honour belongs to JK Rowling. And does anyone else think that Daniel Radcliffe has a great voice? Or am I just weird?

Anyway... Back to the point... Here's the next chapter.

Oh, and I just realised that in the last chapter, I repeated the note I used in the first chapter. Heh. I forget what I write so quickly. I look back over my work and think: I wrote this? Anyway, my apologies.

NOW here's the next chapter

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**Liberation**

The fateful day had arrived. It was time for Remus's most dreaded lesson - Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors and Slytherins. That particular lesson could never go past without some sort of curses flying, back in his day. And it was partly because he had been involved in some of that curse throwing that he was so acutely apprehensive of this particular slot in time.

Before he could lose his nerve, he swept down the corridor, in a way not so different from Snape, one hand on his wand holster. The third year students were milling about aimlessly outside, most just having quiet conversations within their Houses. There was a distinct separation between Gryffindor and Slytherin - that being that Slytherins stood on the right hand side of the corridor, Gryffindors on the left. A skinny boy he recognised as Harry Potter was throwing a vicious glare at a slender boy with a pointed face and perfect platinum blond hair. It could only be a Malfoy. Spawn of Lucius indeed.

"Inside, inside!" He flustered, waving them in and following after them, not allowing his gaze to wander for a second. He allowed them to choose their own seat, his philosophy being that they weren't going to be using them for long anyway.

"No, don't get out your books. We'll be having a practical lesson today. Now," he smiled at the class and stepped to the side to allow them a proper view of the closet that was rattling impressively. "Can anyone tell me what is in this closet?"

Hermione's hand shot up in the air immediately.

"Yes Miss Granger?"

"Is it a Boggart sir?"

"It is indeed. Can you tell me anything about Boggarts?"

"They change into whatever the person in front of them most fears."

"**_You're afraid of Caterpillars Peter?" Sirius laughs._**

"**_Oh leave it Sirius. At least he's not afraid of the dark."_**

"**_I'm not!" Sirius protests vehemently. "I was afraid of Muggle clowns remember? Hey Moony," Sirius turns to the smaller boy walking beside him. "What was your Boggart?"_**

_**Remus blushes faintly. "A-A Crystal ball. I'm afraid of the future." He refuses to meet Sirius's eyes. **_

_**The taller boy shoot him a disbelieving look, but at a warning from James, closes his mouth and drops the subject. **_

Remus smiled at her. "Well done Miss Granger. Five points to Gryffindor. Now, a Boggart to begin with may seem like a challenging opponent, but in reality, you are in control of what the Boggart becomes when it sees you. The most effective way of fighting a Boggart is to turn it into something you find amusing. Because if there's one thing Boggarts hate, it's laughter!" He raised his wand to demonstrate the technique. "The way of doing this is to picture something that will make you laugh, and recite the spell. We will begin with the wand movements. Wands out please."

There was a distinct rustling as the whole class reached into their robes for their wands.

"Like this." He demonstrated the simple movement with his own wand and the students copied.

"Excellent. The incantation you will need is 'Riddikulus'. Let's hear it!"

They repeated the incantation and at Remus's urging, hesitantly stood up and moved away from the tables, which flew to their respective places, by the wall.

"Now to apply your new knowledge. Who would like to go first?"

Everyone except Neville quickly stepped back.

"Excellent Mr Longbottom. Now, what is it that scares you the most?" He asked the younger boy in a conspirital whisper.

"P-Professor Snape sir." Neville stuttered. The room erupted in laughter and Remus concealed a wince. Severus was never going to let him forget this one.

"And you live with your grandmother. Is that correct?"

He nodded.

"Does she have any particular clothes that she wears often?"

"Well, she has this red bag and-"

"You don't have to tell me," the werewolf confided gently. "Just picture them as you cast the spell. Ready?"

He didn't have time to reply as the closet doors swung open and the bat-like figure of one Severus Snape skulked out of it. Neville shuddered as he raised his wand, hand trembling violently. "R-Ri-Riddikulus," he forced out.

The figure stepped backwards sharply, looking utterly taken aback to suddenly be clothed in an abysmal dress, clutching a bright red handbag and balancing a hat adorned with a giant vulture on his head. Remus covered a laugh with his hand. James and Sirius would have loved to see this.

Next in line was Ron. His Boggart twisted itself into a gigantic spider. The Gryffindor looked absolutely terrified, but forced out the spell, causing the spider to grow roller skates and slide around the floor comically.

It was a simple first lesson, but it was better than what he would have come up with had he stayed in the teacher's Lounge with his blank sheet of parchment and honeyed tea. The students were simply taking this lesson as it came and practically controlling it themselves.

He waved a hand, conjuring up a cup of tea. Predictably, just as he took a sip, none other than Harry Potter stepped in front of the Dark Creature. Remus's eyes widened, and spat out his tea, hurrying over to the group of students, just as the Boggart began to take on a dark form with flowing black robes. A sharp hush flew over the Third Years.

The werewolf skidded to a halt in front of Harry, sliding an extra couple of inches past the creature, robes flashing around his ankles. He raised his wand and watched the Boggart, feigning disinterest as a silver orb hung itself before him.

He flicked his wand lazily, still trying to calm his racing heart. "Riddikulus."

The orb deflated with a squeaking sound, flying through the room viciously. No one laughed. Remus flicked his wand at the closet, trapping the Boggart back in there.

Once the students had left, he sank down into a deflated heap himself. That could have gone badly. What if, when the Boggart had seen Harry, it had become Lord Voldemort? How would he control a class full of Third Years who believed they had witnessed the return of the Dark Lord? Or at least seen him in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

He had been lucky to avert disaster then.

This had happened once before when a meek Hufflepuff had faced the Boggart in Remus's Second Year.

"**_Death Eaters in the classroom!" Peter squeaks._**

"**_Don't worry Peter," Remus comforts. "It's just the Boggart."_**

He shuddered painfully. How would _he_ have dealt with finding the reflection of Voldemort in his classroom? It was times like this that he could really use James's optimism and Sirius's comforting words. But James was dead and Sirius had signed his life away to the Dark Lord.

"**_Don't worry Remus, we'll look after you."_**

"**_Yeah, its nothing Madam Pomfrey can't patch up." _**

_**Sirius loops an arm around Remus on one side and James on the other. In this way, they lead the aching werewolf back to the castle. **_

Catching his breath and blinking back tears; he summoned his lesson timetable. Seventh years next. Wandless magic. There was a lot less that could go wrong with that subject matter. Still, he hadn't thought anything could go wrong with something as simple as a Boggart. He sighed. It seemed Harry had inherited James's penchant for trouble as well as his looks.

He had heard about Severus's treatment of Harry, and thought perhaps that the Potions Master saw the same thing. Harry was a carbon copy of his father, except those vibrant emerald eyes that had belonged to Lily.

Hearing a knock at the door, he pulled himself together and opened the door to allow the Seventh Years entrance.

As he turned, a flash of black outside the window caught his eye. He turned, but it was gone. He mentally cursed himself, the words of Alastor Moody popping into his mind.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

It could have been Sirius. He shouldn't have let his guard down, even for a moment. Dementors, Sirius, Death Eaters.. There were still so many threats, even after the demise of the Dark Lord. He should know that letting his guard down was dangerous.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

He shook his head to clear it and turned from the window to face his next class. Precious few students chose to continue with Defence he noticed. When he was at Hogwarts, the majority of students took that subject, choosing to extend their life as much as possible. James, Sirius and Remus had taken DADA at NEWT level, but Peter did not.

Remus supposed that with the threat of the Dark Lord seemingly on the wane, Defence Against the Dark Arts seemed a pretty worthless subject to many students.

"Today class, I will be teaching you how to perform Wandless magic. Who can tell me the advantages of Wandless magic?"

Outside the window, in the Hogwarts grounds, a huge Grim-like dog disappeared into the outer trees of the Forbidden Forest.

A/N: This chapter and I have come to a mutual agreement. It allowed me to write it, provided I sacrifice any writing talent I may or may not have. :Pets my review monster: Poor Georgie... He ate too many cookies.


	5. The Nature of Remembrance

A/N: This is the part where I really begin to stray from the original storyline. A question for you all. Should I have Sirius and Remus meet in the chapter(ish) or wait until the Shrieking Shack scene?

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm still trying to get used to this new reply thingy.

Oh yeah, and I still don't own em.

* * *

**The Nature of Remembrance**

Memories are strange things. All entangled in the delicate threads of time, imagination and the intricate patterns of the human brain. Pluck out one of those silky threads and you destroy a memory. Memories are the remainders of the past, the reminders of both the terrible and the good times. But even they fade over time. As time passes, the memory becomes more faint, more washy, like a watercolour painting when you spill your glass of water over the page. Suddenly, you become unsure which parts are true. You find yourself questioning everything. Did this really happen? Did I really say that?

And it was for this reason that Remus treasured his Pensieve so much. It was a backup copy of every important memory he held, an unfailingly true response, as true as it had been when he had lived it.

In this way, time was flexible.

To a Wizard with the knowledge and a Time Turner, time was merely a tool. To Remus, time was a malicious force that grabbed him by the hair and dragged him through life, forcing him to face up to things he never imagined, to lose things that meant more to him than his life and to go on living when everything seemed lost. Time had pulled him back to that place where everything had really started for him. Hogwarts was his home, but it was the home that had been abandoned and overgrown in him mind. Coming back reminded him of the way time had mercilessly made him fall back into life and forced his beloved memories to fade. Sliding away from his groping fingers. _I don't want to forget._

But time was also the angel who watched over him. Time was the slender, glowing figure who offered Remus a flawless alabaster hand when he stepped into the Pensieve. It was the voiceless, genderless figure who enveloped the werewolf in the protective embrace of shimmering golden wings when his memories got too much.

He could picture Time, standing, reaching out, smiling gently and indulgently, waiting to lead him into the past. For this beautiful compassionate figure, Remus was thankful. But, for the merciless demon who protected him from no-one, grabbed him by the hair and tore him into the present he was not so thankful. It was that persona of time that had dragged him away from the prone forms of Lily and James. It was that Time that had allowed twelve years of life to pass without a word about Sirius. It was this time that had never allowed him to ask Sirius why.

And as Remus leaned over the wall, he could feel them both. The gentle angel clasping his hand softly as it watched over him, and the malevolent form of the demon ripping at his hair, yanking him firmly into the future, screaming at him that the past was no more and he could never have it again.

He felt another figure approach him, this time of a person. A wizard. One Harry Potter, if his sense of smell didn't deceive him. And when did it?

"Good afternoon Professor."

"Ah, Harry. How are you feeling?" Remus turned his head to acknowledge the boy.

Harry smiled faintly. "Professor, last lesson-"

Remus held up his hand, demanding silence from his student. "You wish to know why I stopped you from facing that Boggart?"

Harry folded his arms uncomfortably and nodded.

"I merely assumed that were you to face the Boggart, I would be dealing with a Boggart in the form of the Dark Lord. Was I wrong?" He looked back out over the grounds, half wishing that Sirius would appear before his eyes, half dreading the inevitable confrontation. He turned his attention back to a thoughtful Harry.

"I did think of him at first, but then I remembered those Dementors."

"Interesting. This suggests that what you fear most of all is fear itself. Wise, perhaps." _Wiser than me at least._

Harry was silent for a time, before asking the question that had been clearly niggling at him since meeting the professor.

"Did - Did you know my parents?"

Remus leaned heavily on the rail, wondering how to answer. He decided that simplicity would be best. "Yes. I knew them." He sighed, no longer able to ignore the young wizard's questioning gaze. "Your father was one of my first friends. He was a great person. Reckless, a little arrogant and intolerant, but he was brave. And Lily, well, she was the nicest person I knew. Softhearted and gentle. You look so much like your father Harry. But you have-"

"My mother's eyes. I know."

Remus's eyes twinkled in a way reminiscent of Albus Dumbledore. "I also hear that you are as troublesome as your father."

"I suppose you heard that from Snape."

"_Professor_ Snape, Harry. And no. I did not."

"Oh."

They stood together, looking out over the Lake, each lost in their own memories until Harry left for Quidditch practice.

_I know you're out there Sirius, _he thought to himself. _It's only a matter of time before I find you. Or you find me. And then what do you propose we do? I can't just forget about it, especially if you are guilty. It would be wrong of me. But I couldn't turn you in. I just-couldn't. Not after everything you've done for me. I suppose - I suppose I will just have to hope that it doesn't come to that. Despite everything, I hope they never find you. Because I know what they're going to do to you. And I hate it. _

He turned deliberately from the grounds, deciding to seek out company in the Teacher's Lounge. Unfortunately, this would probably involve Flitwick's disturbing obsession with the new Wizarding Wireless, Minerva's constant clucking over the state of his robes and Albus, should be even be there at all, would be twinkling at him all afternoon. And Severus's mutterings as he scrawls all over an unfortunate person's Potions essay. But still. He could do without being alone for a while.

* * *

The door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom was surprisingly unlocked. Of course, Harry Potter being who he was, saw nothing particularly odd in this. 

The room was filled with light and chattering creatures, others oozing sullenly against the edges of their tanks and some unpleasant organism extruding a horrifically unpleasant smell. Books on Dark Creatures and Defence spells were piled up on the desk along with a set of marked sixth year essays. All normal. Except there was no sign of the Professor Harry had been seeking out.

Harry shrugged and walked straight over to the door of Remus's office. He rapped on the door with his knuckles, but it simply swung lazily open. Harry was slightly disconcerted, but stepped inside anyway.

The room was empty, save for a large pile of parchment and a silver pewter bowl which was oozing silver vapour. The Boy-Who-Lived was drawn in by the hypnotic patterns in the air which seemed to create images that flashed across the silver rippling surface.

_**A dark haired boy, a flashing red and gold scarf. Bright flashes as of a camera. A whole, huge glowing moon suspended in the air, the silhouette of a wolf, a dog, a stag and a rat. Screams. Laughter. **_

"**_I love you Remus."_**

_**Flashes of light. A huge Grim. **_

Harry tumbled roughly into the Pensieve and was drawn instantly into a memory.

_A tall man with long dark hair flails against two captors wearing dark robes. Both captors are male, each harbouring a grim expression._

_A smaller man flies angrily out of the door, robes swishing around his ankles. A thunderous look on his face._

Harry immediately recognised the second figure as a younger Remus Lupin.

"_What is the meaning of this!" He yells. _

"_I didn't do it! Remus! I didn't!" Screams the other man. "Don't let them take me away!"_

_One of the taller man's captors faces Remus with a solemn expression._

"_We have discovered the traitor of Lily and James Potter."_

_Remus takes a horrified step back. _

"_Remus! No! Don't believe this!" _

"_Sirius..." He gasps, leaning heavily against the doorframe. "Sirius.. How could you..."_

"_I couldn't!" Sirius screams. _

Harry clapped both hands over his mouth to keep from speaking.

"_Remus! Remus, you know I didn't do it! I wouldn't! Remmie please!"_

"_I'm sorry Sirius. I honestly thought you were on our side."_

"_Remmie! Please don't do this to me! You know I didn't do it! How could I?"_

"_Sirius I-"_

"_How could you let me go down for this!"_

_Remus's eyes fill with tears as the other wizard is pulled away from him. Sirius's wand is taken by his captors and snapped in half. The pieces fall to the ground. _

_The moment Sirius is out of sight, the tears that adorn Remus's eyes begin to fall. He reaches down..._

And Harry was pulled roughly out of the memory, head spinning. He squeaked as his feet his the floor and his eyes met the furious amber orbs of the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Harry had just seen something that would change _everything._

Remus trembled fearfully, fervently hoping that Harry had not seen anything incriminating. _Oh, please no._

Harry met his eyes and he hardened his gaze. _Don't let him see your weakness._

Remus couldn't miss the shame in the boy's eyes. He obviously hadn't meant to pry into Remus's memories, but Pensieves have an irritating way of drawing one in.

Still, if Harry had seen anything about Sirius...

The boy was silent under the professor's gaze. _Oh crap,_ he thought, _it seems I really do attract trouble._

* * *

_A/N: I don't much care for the end of this chapter, but I do like the beginning. LOL_


	6. Tissue Paper Hearts

Took me ages to get the inspiration for this chapter, but then it just smacked me in the head at half eight Saturday night. Now it is boxing my insides and I hope it will stay with me for another few chapters. I have a huge amount of revision to get done so this will probably be the only chappie up this weekend, and next weekend I'm going away, but I might be able to get something up depending on how tired I am. Oh, and I apologise in advance for the weirdness of the chapter.

Still don't own em.

* * *

**Tissue Paper Hearts**

_Oh what am I going to do?_ Remus inwardly panicked, regarding the young Gryffindor with every outward sign of indifference whilst his brain screamed confused curses at him.

"I'm sorry professor!" The boy tried.

Remus took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me what you saw Harry," he commanded with enforced gentleness.

Harry refused to meet his gaze. "Um.. I saw Sirius Black."

His heart wrenched. _Oh Merlin. _

"When he was arrested. And I saw you."

Oh. That night. Well, in hindsight, that wasn't too bad a memory for him to have come across. At least Harry hadn't seen any of the more _incriminating_ memories or the memories involving his parents. Or of his Lycanthropy. That would be much harder to explain. "Is that all?"

He nodded quickly. "Yes."

Remus sighed. "Okay. You may go."

The Gryffindor looked amazed. "Is that all sir? You aren't going to take points or anything?"

"I am merely assuming that you will not reveal what you have seen to anyone. Therefore there is no sense in taking points."

The boy opened his mouth to speak.

"And I would assure you that Professor Dumbledore is already well aware of my association with Black and many other things besides. Go back to the common room."

Harry fled. Remus might not be as intimidating at Snape or as strict as McGonnagal but he had a certain presence that Harry had no wish to be on the bad side of. And invading his privacy was probably something that would put him right there on that side.

Remus locked his office and slunk irritably over to his personal chambers to drown his sorrows with an abundance of Honeydukes' best chocolate. Once the whole bar was devoured, he blankly changed for bed and slid beneath the sheets, hoping that once again, his dreams would save him from the reality of his life.

* * *

A shadowed figure stood framed in the window, watching the werewolf's every action with a painfully wistful gaze. The wind from the open window ruffled his tattered clothes and long straggly hair. Silver tears hung on dark lashes, casting his prominent cheekbones in an eerie shadow. 

Peter was here. He could finally exact his revenge upon him for what he did to Lily and James. He had once suspected that the man lying curled up protectively in the four poster bed opposite had been the betrayer, but looking at him now, Sirius couldn't even imagine why he had thought that. He knew that Remus believed him to be the betrayer and it made his heart ache. He could understand why, but it didn't stop him from being hurt.

The moment he had left that infernal island, his good memories had begun to return. Night after night he was flooded with dreams of his past that seemed like a lifetime ago. Then he had been in control. He had taken his life and pulled it away from what everyone suspected. The moment he had been Sorted into Gryffindor, he knew that his life was his own to control. Now he had none of that assurance and the only thing he could control was removing Peter Pettigrew from his apparent safety. Everything had been thrown upside down the night James and Lily were betrayed and there was nothing Sirius could do. He hated that the most significant thing he could do was to lend Hagrid his illegal flying motorcycle. He hated that he had sunk so low as to suspect Remus and he hated that he had spent twelve years of his life stuck in a Dementor ridden prison where he couldn't watch Harry's growing up.

He hated most of all that he had to take the stupid rat from Harry's friend, hide from Remus and potentially put the two most important people in his life, even if they didn't know it, in danger. All under the collective noses of the same Dementors that had guarded him in Azkaban.

Well, nothing worthwhile is easy.

He took a hesitant step forward, needing to see his werewolf properly but fearing detection.

The Professor stirred and clutched the sheets closer, mumbling something incoherent.

Sirius found himself sliding beneath the covers next to his old friend. Remus stirred again and released the covers, latching on to the extra form in his bed instead.

Sirius cursed. _You're an idiot Black. _He told himself. _I have no idea how you manage to get yourself into these predicaments._ Well, he couldn't move without waking the werewolf now. He figured he would just have to wait until he decided to release the convict. He just would have to keep himself awake.

Within half an hour he was deep asleep, wrapped in Remus's fervent unconscious embrace.

He awoke at sometime around one in the morning, forcibly extracted himself from the bed, realising that if he allowed himself to fall asleep again, the werewolf would wake up with a man he considered his enemy.

Sirius decided to make the most of his time in the castle and pay a visit to a particular sleazy rat. Perhaps he could exact his revenge and be out of the country all in one night.

The way to Gryffindor Tower was imprinted on his mind. He found himself stuck however, when he realised that he couldn't get past the Fat Lady.

Anger burning deep inside him, he all but clawed his way through the portrait and flew up the stairs, skidding and sliding in his eagerness. He tore through the drapes around Ron's bed, searching for the elusive creature.

The boy in question shot up out of his bed, locked eyes with Sirius and screamed. He cursed and, again without thinking, leapt out of the window.

"S-Sirius Black was here!" Ron announced to his dorm-mates.

An incessant knocking shook Remus from his peaceful slumber. He stretched lazily and reached out to his side as if expecting someone else to be there. He patted the bed and sighed when he realised that he was alone.

"REMUS!"

He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Minerva?"

"Black is in the castle. You need to get up."

His heart leapt into his throat, then plummeted cruelly to his toes. It hadn't been a dream. Sirius _could_ have been in his bed.

He pulled himself out of bed, dragged on a dressing gown and followed Minerva to the Great Hall. She talked frantically as they strode down the corridors.

"Ron Weasly saw him. Looking straight at him with a knife the man was. The drapes are torn, the Fat Lady's portrait destroyed, but there's no sign of him. Albus has decided that the students should sleep in the Great Hall. For their own safety you know. Do you think he-"

"-Was after me?" Harry whispered to Ron, who was on his left.

The Weasly snuggled into his sleeping bag. "If he's in the castle, Dumbledore'll find him."

Harry turned on to his back, biting his lip. If only he could see more of Lupin's memories. He was sure that he would be able to see why Black wanted to kill him, and if he was honest with himself he really wanted to see more of his parents. The Mirror of Erised incident had left him craving even the faintest image of his family. It had left him with a memory of what they looked like, a taster of what his life could have been.

Perhaps Remus's memories could offer more insight into his parents' personalities. And maybe -

"Go to sleep Harry."

_Sirius... I wish none of this had happened. I wish Lily and James and Peter were alive. I wish you weren't on the run. I wish things are how they used to be. _

_**A hand ruffles his hair as he reads through his Charms essay. **_

"**_Hey Remmie."_**

"**_Sirius."_**

"**_Checkmate! Ha! Take that Peter!" Floats across the room. _**

_**A bright grin flashes across Sirius's face. He takes out his Charms homework and a quill. Remus gapes at him.**_

"**_You've actually done your homework?"_**

"**_Yeah.."_**

_**He looks faint. **_

"**_Except I still need two more uses of the Patronus Charm."_**

_**Remus sighs in relief and confesses to the taller boy that he had been worried that Sirius had been taken over by an impostor. This earns him a swat in the shoulder.**_

Remus smiled wistfully and turned his mind back to the present, safe in the knowledge that Sirius would be safe.

* * *

A/N: I uploaded this and the word count on my computer was bigger than on the website. Not by much but if you come across something that doesn't make sense, hit me with it. 


	7. Everything Changes

A/N: OMG! It's been so long since I updated this. If anyone can still stand to read it, I am majorly sorry! I have no excuse except that I've had exams and my brother was being a computer hog. I don't even know how long its been. I really need to catch up now -:Proceeds to begin the next chapter:-

* * *

**Everything Changes**

It's true. Everything changes. Everything that you want to stay the same at least. The beauty of autumn fades to the barrenness of winter; days pass, weeks, months, and years. An incentive to stay becomes an incentive to leave. Birth fades to death, age creeps up on its unsuspecting victim. Friends become lovers and lovers become enemies. And time brings you back to where it all began.

A greying wizard in tattered robes who had known the pain of time ripping him to shreds, pulling him away from the comfort of his past, stood at the front of a classroom in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His greying hair fell loosely down to his ears, gleaming silver in the glowing candlelight. Desks stood before him in rows, each one decorated with a seventh year student. Throughout the room were tanks of creatures, portraits of them and tomes that looked old and valuable.

"Today class, we will be adding to your newfound skills with wandless magic. I am assuming that most of you know how to cast spells without incantations?" Remus Lupin numbly caressed the wand he carried in the holster at his hip.

At the nods from most of the group, he continued. "The next step is to put these two invaluable skills together. We will begin with the shield charm. First I think a demonstration is in order."

He took his wand out of the holster and placed it on the table. "Now, Mr. Gonna, I would like you to cast a hex upon me. Any will do, but nothing past sixth year level please. Whenever you are ready."

"With my wand sir?"

"No."

Remus quickly pulled his shield up around him, moulding it around his body, the incantation forming in his mind. _Protego._

The young wizard's hands began to glow as he started to draw the power. "Rictusempra!"

The spell bounced off Remus's shield, which only began visible in the split second that the hex had hit. "Well done," he congratulated. "However, your power began to show before you cast. You'll need to work on that. Can you tell me why?"

Gonna shrugged. "Because the enemy could see it?"

"Exactly. Now each of you will be trying to cast the Shield Charm without your wands _or_ your voices. Your partner will be casting a simple spell upon you, I think, Cheering Charms. Yes, Cheering Charms and Cheering Charms only, am I clear? Good. Wands away please. Begin."

When his lessons ended at four-thirty, Remus felt drained and tired. But, underlying this inherent tiredness was the familiar sharp authority that marked the time close to the full moon. The wolf was beginning to stir inside his restricting flesh, the slim mould of his body that looked forever malnourished. The body that didn't look as if it could possibly hold a secret so dark and sinister.

He inhaled deeply as he entered his room, locking the door behind him. The scent of the room was becoming familiar - the scent of old fabric, soot and floo, and the scent of that bitter potion that sat so ominously on his desk, waiting.

He turned his back on it purposefully, instead reaching for a bottle on the shelf opposite the desk. It was small and teardrop shaped, filled with swirling silver vapour. This was the memory he could not face. The mark of when his life changed, the mark of why Dumbledore felt it necessary to keep him under close surveillance. The mark of when Sirius became both the best and worst thing to ever happen to him.

He slammed the bottle down on to the desk and shot a powerful glare at his Wolfsbane potion. With visible effort, he reached for the goblet and consumed its contents, face twisting with disgust. He was sure Snape made it taste horrible on purpose.

He lifted the bottle of memory again, deciding that he should finally make the effort to add it to his Pensieve.

With a deep breath, Remus uncorked the bottle and tipped the contents into the silver pewter bowl. Wispy tendrils reached up to him and pulled him roughly into his guilty memory.

_**A young, tawny haired boy sits on the windowsill of the Gryffindor sixth year boy's dormitories. He stares out at the stars and the huge, glowing moon with the chunk bitten out of it. The sky is cloudless and the air is so cold that his breath forms vapour in front of him. His eyes are glassy with tears and his hands are shaking.**_

_**He is approached by a taller boy, dark hair making him almost invisible in the night, except for his pale alabaster skin and luminous eyes. He wears school robes over his thin pyjamas but still shivers in the night air. **_

"**_Close the window, Remus," he whispers._**

_**The boy on the windowsill shows no sign of having heard him. He covers Remus's small, scarred hand with his own freezing, pale one. Remus flinches as if the boy has hit him, but he closes the window anyway. **_

"**_What do you want, Sirius?" He muttered tiredly. _**

"**_I never apologised for the incident with Snape last year. I was -"_**

"**_Stupid. I know." Remus turns away as best he can on the narrow sill. _**

"**_To this day, I swear I don't know exactly why I did it. At the time, I told myself that I was defending you-" _**

_**Remus snorts. **_

"**_Just let me talk okay? I know I can't justify it. I just want you to know how miserable I feel that I'm too much of a bastard to have even apologised. He kept insulting you and saying that you were weak and pathetic and I wanted him to see that you're not so I- so I."_**

"**_Betrayed my confidence and let him in on my secret? Almost made me a murderer?"_**

"**_Yes. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. And I wish you would forgive me. I really don't like us being so icy to each other. I miss how we were."_**

"**_Me too," Remus confesses. "I forgive you Siri. It's just going to take some time for me to trust you again."_**

"**_Thank you so much Moony!" He throws his arms around the smaller boy, almost toppling them both out of the barely closed window. "I'm never going to do anything else to make you doubt my trustworthiness."_**

"**_Make sure you don't."_**

Memories swirled. Time sped up. Remus stood in the centre of the room, waiting for things to settle down, trying to calm his racing heart. When Sirius had come to him to apologise, he had acknowledged in his mind what his heart had learnt during the lonely summer holidays. Time ground back to normal speed and Remus looked back outside himself into his memory.

_**The calendar on the wall reads "2nd December". Approximately two weeks since Sirius's apology and things are almost back to normal. That is, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are serving detention with Filch, cleaning all of the trophies without magic. **_

"**_Can't believe we got two week's detention with Filch!" Exclaims James incredulously. "It was just a little prank! It isn't our fault the Slytherins didn't see the funny side of having horns and a tail."_**

"**_And speaking in really high-pitched voices," adds Peter. _**

"**_Yes. Like I said. Nothing big. And we get two weeks with Filch. Oh the injustice!" James wails, drowning out Sirius's cackles. _**

_**The hour is almost up. Remus is scrubbing a particularly tough stain off one of the trophies when Sirius casts a cleaning spell on it. This earns the two of them another hour of cleaning, while Filch holds on to their wands. **_

_**James and Peter slink off to the dormitories, looking sympathetic. **_

_**Remus carries on scrubbing, but Sirius merely watches him. Remus turns his head to see what is the matter.**_

"**_Sirius, you've been acting weird since the beginning of the year. At first I put it down to us not talking so much so I had forgotten how you were or something, but now I'm not so sure. What's up?" He puts down the cleaning cloth and slides onto a table. _**

"**_I think I'm in love Moony."_**

_**Remus tilts his head to one side. "Oh? I'm sure the majority of the female population, and more than a few of the male population of Hogwarts will be disappointed. Who's the lucky witch?"**_

"**_Wizard."_**

_**Remus's eyes open wide. "What?"**_

_**Sirius approaches him stealthily, only stopping when his legs hit the table where the werewolf sits. "I'm gay."**_

"**_Well, who's the lucky wizard then?"_**

_**Sirius closes the gap between their lips in a soft kiss. He stills, waiting to gauge Remus's response. A faint pressure serves as his reassurance. **_

"**_You."_**

_**Everything begins to fade, colours dimming, sliding into black.**_

Remus was ejected unceremoniously from the Pensieve, surprised to find that his cheeks were wet. He angrily pushed the bowl away from him, wishing he could push Sirius from his mind as easily.

A glance out of the window showed him that the moon was beginning to rise. He stood, stretched himself out and yawned.

He shrugged out of his robe and pulled off the clothes he wore underneath. After all, there was no sense in wasting them. Once folded neatly, the clothes were placed in his bedroom. It was to be his first transformation at Hogwarts under the Wolfsbane. Taking a length of rope from the cupboard, he tied it around his leg and then around the table leg. Once transformed it would do very little, but it served as a reassurance to the human side of Remus.

He seated himself by the table and waited for the imminent pain.

As always, it was his eyes that changed first. They became brighter; a more luminous shade of amber and their pupils became slitted. His vision slid roughly into the grey spectrum, everything appearing in shades of grey. Next his nose became sharper; he could even smell a faint hint of the lemon drops the Headmaster kept in his office. His fingernails grew and sharpened into hefty claws.

The main physical changes happened last. He screamed in agony as bones changed shape and his human skin ripped and tore away. Finally it was over.

The huge grey wolf settled himself with a large stretch reminiscent of a cat and curled around the table leg to sleep.

_Everything changes. Except me. _


	8. Take Your Places

A/N: Sorry if the formatting on this and the last chapter is screwed - I'm in a massive hurry.

Still don't own it - you know the score.

Apologies for the lameness in advance

* * *

**Take Your Places**

When the sun rose the next morning, Remus ached. But it wasn't the usual aches and pains he felt after a transformation. He had no cuts or bruises. In fact, he had spent most of the night curled up under the desk asleep. No, this ache was in his heart. During his time as a student at Hogwarts, he had grown used to having company as he roamed the Forbidden Forest at night. Despite not remembering anything about his time as the wolf, Remus could feel it once again mourning the loss of it's pack. The wound was much fresher here.

He untied himself from the table and stood up, unlocking the knots in his muscles. _I could use a shower,_ he mused, stumbling over to the bathroom.

The water droplets sliding over his stinging flesh made him feel fresher and more human. Once he left his quarters, he would once again become Remus John Lupin, Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, whereas, while he was alone in his rooms he was merely Remus John Lupin, the werewolf.

Teaching finally gave him the focus he had needed since Sirius's betrayal and it was a shame that he probably would not be there long. He had heard that Severus was taking over his classes while he was 'ill'. No doubt the old git was trying to get one of the students to guess what he was, since he himself had been sworn to secrecy by Dumbledore.

He pulled on his old tattered robes and sat by the window. Dumbledore had told him to take the day off since most of the day was being taken up by a Quidditch match anyway. Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Or was it Hufflepuff? Sirius and James had loved Quidditch - Remus remembered the endless conversations about various matches and teams with disturbing clarity since he had taken part in none of them.

His window was a good vantage point for the game. Perhaps now he could get to see if Harry was as good at seeking as his father had been.

The weather was abysmal. Vision was low for both teams, but it looked as if Harry had a water repelling charm on his glasses so he could see better than the other team's seeker. He spotted the snitch surprisingly quickly and shot up into the clouds after it. There was no sign of him for a long time.

Remus's breath came out in puffs of mist in front of his face. He flung open the window. _Oh Merlin, let him be all right. _

* * *

From the edges of the Forbidden Forest, Sirius was having similar thoughts. He had been watching the game in his dog form, drawn by the promise of seeing Harry play. He abandoned the dog guise in favour of his human eyes when Harry shot up into the clouds and didn't come back. 

He shivered and rubbed his arms. It was certainly colder for a human than a dog. During his moment of distraction, a figure fell from the clouds, followed by a broom flying in the opposite direction.

He gasped, taking a horrified step back.

Two voices yelled as one. One from the castle and the other from the ground. "HARRY!"

Seeing a flash of black shoot towards him, Sirius leapt back into his dog form and took off into the forest, hoping and praying for his godson's safety.

A sickening crunch from behind him indicated Harry's broom meeting the Whomping Willow.

Remus covered his mouth with a shaking hand as he watched Dumbledore slow down the boy's fall. Surely he would be all right?

The Dementors... What were they doing inside the grounds? Dumbledore would be furious.

The wizard in question looked up at Remus's window and smiled. Remus sighed in relief. Harry was going to be okay.

He pulled the window shut and settled down to sleep some more. The full moon always made him tired.

* * *

The next day was much more pleasant weather-wise. It was also the weekend. Feeling much better, Remus decided to take a walk in the grounds to clear his head. 

He hadn't been walking long when Harry caught up with him.

"Professor Lupin! Professor!"

Remus smiled at the Gryffindor. "Good Morning Harry. I trust you're feeling better?"

"Yes. Why weren't you teaching last week sir?"

"I have been ill Harry. I have always been unfortunately prone to sickness. I heard about the Quidditch match. I suspect that Dumbledore is most displeased. I am sorry about your broom by the way."

Not knowing what to say in reply, Harry shrugged. "What was it like growing up in Voldemort's time?"

"It will probably sound strange and disturbing to you young Harry, but I can't say I noticed much while I was inside Hogwarts. I only really started to feel scared when I left. Si- Um- I was most scared when I left Hogwarts to find my own home. It was then that I realised that I could lose any of my friends or family, or indeed my _life_ to him at any time. But thanks to you Harry, no-one is living in fear anymore."

"Professor, how could I do something that big and not even remember it?"

A fond smile crossed the werewolf's lips. "You were very young. It is wrong of anyone to expect otherwise. Your mother's love saved you. I'm afraid Voldemort does not understand the power of love."

They walked in silence for a time, each thinking about their own secrets and past.

"You can fight the Dementors," Harry exclaimed suddenly.

Remus raised a questioning eyebrow. "I don't pretend to be an expert, Harry."

"You made that Dementor on the train go away!"

"It was only one. The more there are, the harder it becomes."

"Can you teach me?"

Remus made as if to refuse, but Harry continued talking.

"What if they come back? I need to know how to fight them!"

He sighed. "All right Harry. But it will have to wait until after the holidays. For now, I must rest."


	9. Revelations

A/N: This chapter is inspired by the song 'bright eyes' from Watership Down (which I obviously don't own)

I've been lazy with the disclaimers in the last few chapters, so I thought I might write an intelligent sounding one this time:

Disclaimer: The 'Harry Potter' series and all affiliated characters and places are owned by J. K. Rowling and no infringement of copyright is meant by the author of this work. (I.e.: me) The author of this work is not making a profit from the text and it is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any song lyrics or quotes are property of their respective owners and the author of this work does not claim ownership of any of them.

I would also like to point out that I barely ever check and edit my work, except for spell checking, and what you read is usually exactly what I wrote to begin with. So please excuse any small errors and do point out anything that you feel needs to be changed.

* * *

**Revelations**

_**His eyes, glowing bright in the dusky light, fall upon the figure lying next to him on the ground. As glowing amber fades back to soft grey, colour begins to seep back into his vision. First thing to change, last thing to change back. Sometimes he wishes he could become the wolf voluntarily, like his friends could become their animals, and sometimes he wishes that some of the wolf's traits were a part of him. But most of the time he just wishes that the wolf would leave him alone. **_

_**The sun is just rising above the horizon, the faint reflection of the moon just leaving the sky. There is a rat curled up in a corner of the room, beneath a mouldy-looking bed. James is slouched against the wall, blinking blearily, his glasses almost falling off his nose. His hair is a ragged shadow above his head and his clothes are twisted and untidy. **_

_**Lying in the middle of the floor is Sirius, still in the realms of sleep, mumbling to himself about pixies and dragons. Beside him, flat on his back, lies Remus. His eyes, now fully grey, watch the ceiling. He is wide-awake. Sirius shifts in his sleep and pulls at the blanket shielding his friend's modesty. Remus blushes and yanks it back hurriedly. **_

_**From across the room, James grins at him. **_

_**Ignoring him, Remus summons his clothes and pulls them on, leaving Sirius to cuddle the blanket all he wants. "You should get back to Gryffindor Tower," he whispers. "I need to go to the hospital wing."**_

"**_Wake up Sirius," James advises. "Someone should go with you. It wasn't one of your best nights you know."_**

"**_I'll be fine."_**

_**James throws his shoe at Sirius. "Padfoot! Remus intends to walk all the way to the hospital wing on his own!"**_

_**Sirius yelps as the shoe makes contact. "He's going to do what now?"**_

_**James sighs. "Just take Moony to the hospital wing. I'll take care of Wormy."**_

"**_Oh! Did I hurt him?"_**

"**_Not enough," Sirius grins and drags the werewolf out of the Shrieking Shack and into the Hogwarts grounds. "He'll be fine."_**

_**Remus sighs deeply. "I'm so sorry to have dragged you guys into this."**_

_**Sirius slings his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders. "You didn't drag us into it remember? You told us that you'd understand if we didn't even want to see you anymore. It was our choice. And I can't speak for the others, but I for one have never regretted that choice."**_

"**_But what if your parents find out?"_**

_**Sirius snorts. "My parents? They practically disowned me the second I was Sorted into Gryffindor. You can't tell me you didn't hear the Howler!"**_

"**_I'm sorry."_**

"**_Stop apologising!" Sirius squeezes his friend. "You're one of my best friends. You're a werewolf. So what. I don't care. In fact, its being a werewolf that makes you who you are. I mean, if you weren't you would probably have turned out very differently. We might not even have been friends. Don't get me wrong, if I knew how, I'd cure you, but I don't. And I wouldn't change who you are."_**

_**Remus's lip trembles. "Thank you Sirius. You've no idea how much this means to me."**_

The thick blanket of snow that covered the grounds gleamed in the bright sunlight as Remus stirred the Pensieve idly with his wand. He had never looked at it so often.

The door creaked open.

"Hello Harry. Here for your lesson?"

"Yes Professor," Harry walked in and shut the door quietly.

Remus stood up, sweeping his robe behind him. "I will be teaching you the Patronus charm Harry. It is advanced magic, nothing like what you would usually learn in your third year, so do not expect this to be easy." He descended the stairs quickly. "The Patronus charm creates a barrier between you and the Dementors, and they will feed from it instead of you."

Harry nodded.

"You must select a happy memory and hold that thought in your head whilst you cast the charm. Concentrate on that thought and only that thought."

Harry sank into his memories for a moment.

"Do you have a memory?

Harry nodded.

"Good. The incantation is 'Expecto Patronum'. Are you ready?"

At Harry's nod, Remus waved his hands across the crate containing a new Boggart. The locks slowly dislodged themselves and the Boggart flew out. Remus stepped back hurriedly as the Boggart took the shape of a Dementor.

Harry raised his wand. "Expecto Patronum. Expecto Patronum." The tip of his wand began to glow silver, and then, he fainted.

Replacing the Boggart in the case, Remus sighed. As Harry came round, he handed the boy a piece of chocolate.

Harry rubbed his temples. "That was one nasty Dementor."

Remus chuckled. "It wasn't a Dementor. A Boggart. They are rather becoming my specialty it seems." He hauled the boy up. "Ready to try again?"

In answer, Harry lifted up his wand. This attempt ending in him lying prone on the floor and Remus's chocolate supply being depleted somewhat more.

He frowned. "May I enquire what memory you chose?"

"The first time I rode a broom."

"Oh now that's not nearly strong enough. Can't you think of anything else?"

"Well there is something, but its- complicated."

"Is it strong?" Remus asked gently.

After a moment, Harry nodded, indicating that he was ready to try again. This time, the attempt went well. Remus was grinning from ear to ear, applauding as he slammed the lid on the case shut. "Well done Harry, well done! Excellent! Here- have some more chocolate."

Harry smiled and sank to the floor. "You know what I was thinking? I was young and mum and dad were watching me and talking. Just talking. I don't even know if it's real, but it's the happiest I've ever been."

Remus's smiled faded and he put a friendly hand on Harry's shoulder. "You should get back to Gryffindor Tower. It's late."

Harry stood slowly. "Thanks Professor."

"You're very welcome."

Feeling slightly lonely after Harry's departure, Remus collected an armful of unmarked work and made his way to the staff lounge.

"Remus dear! How are you feeling!" Minerva fussed as he walked into the room and transfigured himself some tea.

"I'm feeling fine thank you Minerva." Remus replied politely.

Filius twisted the dial on the Wizarding Wireless. The room filled with thick static. Professor Sprout whacked the box until it found a radio station.

Ignoring all this, Remus set about marking his fifth year work. By the time he was done, it was almost midnight. The staff lounge was empty except for Filius Flitwick, who, having spent most of his free time coddling the Wizarding Wireless, was now charming quills to do his marking for him.

He hid a smile behind his hand and snuck out of the room. The corridors were dark, but it barely mattered. He knew every single corridor and hallway of Hogwarts. He knew its scent, its appearance, its length, width and decorations. He knew where each stairway was located and which one moved. Mostly from his studies on the Marauder's Map which had been the four friend's work for years.

_**Remus wanders down the third floor hallways, making notes on a ragged piece of parchment. Doing a similar thing on the fourth floor is Sirius, and James is mapping out the dungeons with the help of his Invisibility cloak. Peter is down on the ground floor, making notes of all the suits of armour and portraits. **_

_**In his pocket, James carries the beginning prototype of the Marauder's Map. Sirius carries the plans, and Remus's schoolbag is filled with related Charms and Transfiguration. The Marauder's Map is to be their legacy, to ensure that a part of them will remain at Hogwarts forever. **_

_**Once they are done with their sections, the four boys meet up in the Gryffindor common room to add their messily drawn maps to the prototype. **_

Lost in thought, Remus barely noticed that he was approaching people. The sound of voices halted him in his steps.

"-And keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."

He bit back a groan. From the sounds of that, Harry had somehow gotten hold of the Marauder's Map. Wand light glowed ominously in front of him.

The figure in front of him, which could only be Severus Snape, whirled around, pointing the sharp light of his wand into Remus's eyes.

"Well, well Lupin. Out for a stroll in the moon-light?" He questioned smugly, emphasising every word.

Remus flicked his head up to ward the glare out of his eyes and did not answer.

* * *

A/N: Gah. This chapter was so awkward to upload. Stupid computer. :wanders off muttering about thick computers: 


	10. I'll be There, One Last Time

__

A/N: Thanks for sticking with the story so far. Meant to get this up yesterday but got spotted by family sneaking off to computer. It may be late but: Merry Christmas everyone!

PS: JKR still owns everything and I still own nothing.

* * *

**I'll be There, One Last Time.**

Remus decided not to dignify the Potions Professor with a response and instead flicked his eyes to Harry.

"Potter," Snape spat, "is carrying an object that is clearly of Dark origin."

Remus pushed the wand away, waiting for his eyes to readjust to the dark. "Really? Looks like a piece of parchment meant to insult anyone who reads it. Probably a Zonko product?" He looked at Harry as if for confirmation.

Snape opened his mouth as if to speak, but Remus continued. "Nonetheless, I think I'd better take that, since it _is_ my field of expertise." He snatched the parchment from Snape. "Come Harry. Goodnight Severus."

"Lupin," he snarled, watching them leave.

"Turn that bloody light out!" Yelled one of the nearby portraits.

Snape rolled his eyes and with an irritated huff, turned on his heel and swept back down the corridor in a whirl of black robes, extinguishing the wand-light as he stalked.

Remus strode into the classroom, Harry all but trotting along behind him. He tossed the parchment down on the desk and turned on his student.

"Frankly Harry, I am incredibly disappointed that you did not bring this to me straight away!" He snapped.

Harry bit his lip. "I-"

"Harry, have you any idea what kind of danger this could put you in? That this map-" he waved it emphatically at the boy- "In the hands of Sirius Black is a map to you!"

"I didn't-"

"You didn't think of that, did you! Well you want to be careful Harry! There are people here trying to look out for your best interests, people who care about you and don't want to see you hurt, and you are throwing their concern away by walking the corridors after curfew and being in possession of an item that could very well get you killed!" He threw the map disgustedly back onto the table and ran a shaking hand through his hair.

From his Professor's response, Harry deduced that he was not used to losing his temper. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, before leaning back on the desk to bring himself down to Harry's height. "Harry, I do understand. When I was at Hogwarts I behaved in a similar way. I just want you to see that you need to be careful. And not to throw the concern of your friends away so lightly. I will not bail you out again, are we clear?"

"Yes Professor."

"You may go Harry."

As he reached the door, Harry turned back to Remus. "Professor, just so you know, I don't think that map always works."

"Why?"

"I saw someone on there tonight. Someone I know to be dead."

"Who was it?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

And Harry left, lights extinguishing behind him, leaving Remus frozen behind the desk, frozen in the deep insane knowledge that the Marauder's Map never lies. Trapped in the knowledge that if Peter Pettigrew was alive, then Sirius hadn't committed the murder he had been sent to Azkaban for. But, perhaps, Harry was mistaken?

Remus tapped the tip of his tough fingernail against the parchment and muttered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Lines of faded brown ink seeped out from his finger, forming the familiar lines and nuances of magic that he had helped to create. Warm nostalgia that had nothing to do with the nuances of magic shot, burning through his veins.

"Show me Peter Pettigrew," he whispered. The lines on the map flickered silver, a sign that the parchment recognised Remus of one of four people who had created it. Sure enough, taking an erratic path across one of the second floor corridors, was a pair of footprints marked 'Peter Pettigrew'. He gasped and dropped the map. The lines returned to brown and the area to the floor Remus currently occupied.

A new pair of footprints had appeared on the wall next to him. The letters seemed blurred in the dim light. An 'S' maybe, an 'R'..

He lifted his wand and hovered it over the parchment. "Lumos."

The writing became flooded with white wand-light, the letters clearing. Remus's eyes flew wide and it was only his protective instincts that kept him from dropping the wand. The letters above those footprints were written in elegant gothic hand and read 'Sirius Black.'

Faced with the man, who had once meant the world to him, Remus didn't know what to do. He dare not lift his eyes from the parchment, lest he be faced with that terrifying notion of Sirius being guilty.

A rustle of fabric drew his gaze. Lightning flashed, revealing a gaunt figure in the window, long messy black hair, dark ragged clothing.

Remus felt a shudder move through his body.

The figure stepped forward. Remus lifted his wand in a trembling hand. "D-Don't move."

"It's true," the figure rasped. "Pettigrew is alive. Despicable creature! I _should_ have killed him!"

Remus's wand clattered to the floor, the wand-light going out as wood met stone. The two men were plunged into almost complete darkness. Neither moved.

"Lily and James..."

"I know why you suspect me Remus. If I were you, I would suspect me too. And I thought it was you at some point."

"You were their secret keeper!" Remus all but screeched.

Large hands came to settle on his upper arms, rubbing soothingly. "They changed Secret Keepers. At the last minute. I thought they changed to you, but it was Pettigrew. You're right. I killed them. I didn't think I could handle it. I helped convince them to change." Tears shone on his face.

"P-Peter."

"You know he's alive."

"The map never lies."

Sirius hesitantly wrapped his arms around the werewolf, who was still shaking. "I missed you."

"Twelve years Siri," Remus blinked back tears, craning his neck to meet his companion's eye. "Why didn't you tell anyone!"

"Who would I have told? The Dementors? I doubt they'd give a shit."

"_Sirius_!"

"Oh all right. I doubt they'd give a _damn._ Better?"

"Yes."

"Good to know some things don't change." He pulled the werewolf tighter. "I forgot. I forgot everything." He whispered in a teary voice. "Most of all, I forgot how it feels. I can remember actions, events. That all came back but I forgot... How it feels."

Remus pulled back from the embrace. "Come and sit down in my office. I'll light a fire and we can talk."

Sirius smiled wryly, despite knowing that Remus couldn't see it. "I can't stay."

"I know. But it's cold outside and I can get you something to eat and drink and you can get warm." He pulled Sirius into the adjoining room and sat him down in a squishy armchair. He summoned his wand and lit a fire. "I'll be right back."

He slunk downstairs, tickling the pear into the kitchen and came face to face with a house elf. "How can Dobby help Professor Lupin sir?"

"I'm feeling rather peckish. Could you get me something to eat? Don't go to any trouble. Just leftovers or something."

"Of course sir!"

Dobby reappeared two minutes later with a plate laden with food. "Thank you so much Dobby," Remus whispered, climbing out of the kitchen.

Thankfully, he met no one else out in the corridors as he made his way back to his office. Sirius looked up as he walked in, but did not move from his space. Remus gave him the food and a bottle of Butterbeer from the cupboard under his desk.

They sat in silence, as Sirius polished off the meal in record time. "It gets a little tedious living on a diet of rats and rabbits that I can catch as a dog." He admitted.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered. "I wish I could do something."

"That you believe me is enough." He caught Remus around the waist as he stepped back from poking the fire and pulled the man on to his lap. He squeaked in surprise, before awkwardly settling himself.

"I forgot how it feels," he repeated.

Remus nuzzled his neck.

"Well in their face!" He announced rebelliously. "I remember now."

Remus decided that it would be worthless to remind his friend that Dementors did not in fact, have faces. Merely skulls. Besides, he didn't want to remind Sirius that he would have to leave soon. He enjoyed having him back and didn't want to give it up.

Their hands intertwined in Remus's lap as he reached up to place a tender kiss on his former lover's dirtied cheek.

Cuddling with his old friend felt warm and homey to the escapee, and he couldn't help but mentally gloat a _little_ that the Dementors hadn't permanently taken away anything.

"Good night Remmie," he murmured.

* * *

A/N: Hm. I'm not too pleased with this. Did I get them to meet too soon d'you think? 


	11. No Time

A/N: It has been a while, hasn't it? A very long while… I have no excuses except for my inability to write and I apologise if this chapter sounds a little forced. I think my writing style has gotten much, much worse. All right, I will admit the timing is a little off in this chapter, but eh. Call it AU. Lol.

* * *

**No Time**

* * *

Remus's bed seemed uncommonly hard as he regained consciousness. Aching cold seeped into his bones, a cold that was familiar from his early morning wake up calls after transformations. Nevertheless, it was not right. It was not the full moon, and even if it was, he should be warm in his room. His eyelids forced open, sleep dulled amber met cold grey stone. Odd. He pushed himself to his knees, forcing back a yawn, and stretched his aching limbs.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stood up, taking in his surroundings. He was in his office. The room looked perfectly normal. The fire had burned down to virtual nothingness, throwing out barely enough heat to warm the air in the grate. A plate and a half empty bottle of butterbeer sat on the desk, next to a pile of fourth year essays and on the small table next to an armchair by the fire lay a thick, old sheet of parchment. He reached over and picked it up, eyes roaming the sheet. Thin inky lines spread over the page, but the name he looked for was nowhere to be found. Although, unfortunately, another person with a name beginning with an 's' was making his way to Remus's office.

He cleared the map and tossed it on to the desk. When the knock came at the door, Remus was prepared. He flicked his wand at the door to admit the visitor.

There in the doorway, wearing an expression that suggested he had recently consumed something foul, stood Severus Snape.

"Ah, Severus," Remus greeted pleasantly. "Do come in."

The Potions Master took a singular step inside and wrinkled his nose in distaste. He levitated a steaming goblet on to the desk, allowing it to drop with a thud. "Don't forget to drink it, Lupin," he snapped irritably, before turning and leaving the room in a flurry of black robes. Before the door slammed, Remus heard a shout of "Ten points from Gryffindor for walking too slowly!"

He rolled his eyes and turned to the steaming goblet on the desk. If he did not know better, he would have sworn that the thing was glaring at him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he consumed the whole goblet in one swallow, shuddering at the foul taste.

Thus passed the term. The days blurred into one another, none more significant than the last. There were times when he swore he saw an expression on Harry's face that suggested he knew that his sighting on the Marauder's Map was not as insignificant as the professor would have him believe.

He kept the map firmly closed on his desk, refusing to open it, for revealing its secrets would mean facing up to reality and the world outside Hogwarts. Remus did not think he could do that.

It was on an evening in late June that he was taken out of his protective bubble and thrust cruelly back into the real world, where he was hated by most.

It was an evening like any other. Remus sat in his office, marking papers and taking the occasional sip from a small glass of fire whiskey. It was a sad night, for it was the last night of the Hippogriff Buckbeak's life. It was also the full moon. The goblet of Wolfsbane potion on the desk winked maliciously at him, causing a shudder to ripple through his body.

He lifted the crystal glass to his lips, and by chance caught sight of the Marauder's Map lying on the mantelpiece. His fingers itched to open it once more, to have the entirety of Hogwarts at his fingertips, again to be nothing more than a mysterious student wizard with unlikely friends.

Dubiously, he levitated the glass slowly back to the desk and purposefully retrieved his quill. He had written no more than a few words when his eyes lifted and met the map again.

Sighing, he summoned the old parchment and opened it, muttering, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," under his breath.

Eyes scanned the page before settling upon a spot in the Hogwarts grounds, beside the Whomping Willow. Two pairs of footprints seemed to be locked in battle with the tree. One labelled 'Harry Potter' and the other labelled 'Hermione Granger'. He frowned. Footprints labelled 'Ronald Weasly' were being dragged down an underground passage by another pair labelled 'Sirius Black'. And yet another seemed to be on top of Ron. Only this one was labelled 'Peter Pettigrew'.

Dropping the map, Remus lurched to his feet. Pausing only to grab his jacket, he strode out of the building and into the grounds, breaking into a run as he saw Harry and Hermione disappear.

Freezing the tree, he flung himself into the passage and ran as best he could without damaging his brain, down the corridor to the Shrieking Shack

He snapped his wand into his hand before swinging open the door. The wand pointed directly in front of him, he advanced into the room.

Hope flashed in Hermione's eyes as she watched him scope the small room. Sirius stepped out of the shadows.

"Remus!" He laughed, sounding slightly unhinged. He embraced the werewolf roughly before turning back to the trio.

"I trusted you!" Hermione all but screamed. "I trusted you! I kept your secret and all this time you've been helping him!" She turned to the boys. "He's a werewolf!"

Harry began to reach around her to extract the wand from her pocket.

"Very impressive Miss Granger. How long have you known?"

"Since Professor Snape set the essay."

"Come on Remus! Let's kill him!" Sirius cackled.

If he was disturbed by this, Remus did not show it. Neither did he flinch when he realised that Harry had the wand pointing directly at him.

"You betrayed my parents," the boy snarled. "And you killed Peter Pettigrew."

"It wasn't him, Harry." Remus stepped in front of the escapee to stop him immediately lurching for the rat. "Harry deserves to know why Sirius."

The door swung open again before anyone else could speak and a creature that much resembled a giant bat stalked in. "Well, well, if it isn't Dumbledore's pet werewolf."

Making a hard decision fast, Harry transferred the direction of the wand to Snape and putting all his force behind it, bellowed "Expelliarmus!"

There was silence save for the splintering crash as the Potions Master was thrown against a rotting cupboard. Ron watched his friend with wide eyes.

* * *

Up in the warmth of his office, Dumbledore moved his chess piece. Taking a sip of tea, he smiled. "Checkmate Minerva." 

"Really, Albus. I don't know why I continue to play this game with you." Minerva huffed, petting Fawkes.

"Lemon drop?"

"Thank you."

"Rematch?"

"Why not."

Once again, the pieces took their positions and, one by one, were set in motion.

* * *

A/N: I am not proud. 


	12. When the Past Catches up to You

**When the past catches up to you**

Remus fought back the tremors in his knees that threatened to force him to the floor. Harry had cast the spell the moment the wand had shifted from himself and Sirius to Snape. He knew he should not be scared of an untrained thirteen year old, but it had been so long since he had been on the receiving end of a curse, just over thirteen years in fact.

_**A malicious giggle causes the younger werewolf to spin around, almost tripping over the tattered bottom of his robe. He is faced with a heavily polished wand, held by manicured hands belonging to a tall, slender blond dressed in dark robes, a death eater mask hanging from his other hand.**_

"**_I've been waiting a long time for this Lupin," he gloats, smirking cruelly._**

_**Remus flicks his wand out of his sleeve.**_

"**_The Dark Lord believes that your kind would be an asset to his arsenal. After all, you are a dark creature. Do you ever wonder if you are fighting on the wrong side of this war?" _**

"**_Are you going to duel me, or just taunt me!" He demands. _**

_**The attacker's icy grey eyes flash with sadistic pleasure as he meticulously aims the tip of his wand. "I don't believe I am going to do either."**_

_**Remus's eyes widen as he realises the death eater's intention. He raises his own wand, but before the disarming spell leaves his lips, the blond cuts him off.**_

"**_Crucio!"_**

_**Remus's back arches as pain laces through his body. Pulling in a shallow, shuddering breath, he tries to shake off the agony. Frowning, his torturer increases the pressure until the werewolf lies writhing on the damp, muddy ground. Even as it feels as if his tongue is being torn out of his throat, his screams echo across the moor. Silver spikes tear through his flesh, sliding like barbed wire through his vital organs. He swallows hard, but his own saliva feels like boiling water and the tears sliding from his eyes feel the same.**_

_**There is a strange light in the torturer's eye as he raises the wand and cuts off the spell.**_

_**Remus spits out blood, forcing himself to his knees. "You are a disgusting bastard Malfoy." He rasps, pulling all of his remaining energy into staying on his knees. He still has not let go of his wand but it is useless for he does not have the energy to cast.**_

"**_Call me whatever you want Lupin. Just know that your screams will lull me to sleep every night." Lucius Malfoy turns and strides away in a flurry of black robes, replacing his mask as he walks._**

A shudder rippled through Remus's body as the memory clawed its way to the surface

Hermione tugged on Harry's sleeve, muttering her distress over the attack upon a Hogwarts teacher. Sirius was all but twitching in his haste to destroy the rat. Remus brought his mind back to the matter in hand.

"I want to know what's going on." Harry demanded.

"Its true Sirius was Lily and James's secret keeper, but at the last minute they changed Secret Keepers. Peter betrayed them and staged his own death."

Sirius pushed Remus's arm away to step forward, unsteady on his feet. "He cut off his own finger, turned into a rat and escaped down the sewers."

"All they could find of Pettigrew was his finger," Hermione whispered.

Sirius ignored her and continued. "Twelve years I rotted in that prison, then I saw that picture in the _Prophet_ of the Weaslys in Egypt and saw that rat on his shoulder. I knew I had to escape."

"Scabbers? No way! He's been in my family for-"

"Twelve years. Awfully long for a common garden rat, wouldn't you say?"

"Give me the rat. I'll prove it," Remus assured.

"W-What are you going to do?" Ron asked, a tremor in his voice.

"I'm going to force him to retake human form. If he really is a rat, nothing will happen."

Hesitantly, Ron handed his pet rat to the werewolf. Sirius retrieved Snape's wand and pointed it at the rat. Remus placed the scrambling animal on to a splintered table. The moment all four feet touched the solid wood he began to run, claws scrabbling for purchase. Remus flicked his wand and the flash of blue light barely missed the tip of the rat's tail. Just as it prepared to jump out of a boarded up window when another flash hit the rat in the gut and it enlarged, becoming portly, balding and human.

Ron almost fainted as Peter Pettigrew was hauled out of the crack in the boards and forced to the ground at wand point.

Remus and Sirius shared a glance and looked back at the betrayer.

"Together?" Sirius suggested.

Remus nodded shortly.

They raised their wands.

"No! No! Don't let them kill me. Master! Wasn't I a good pet?" He scrambled over to Ron, who shifted away in disgust. "Good, kind Harry." He pawed at the boy's robes. Harry flicked them away, repulsed.

Remus and Sirius aimed their wands again.

"No!" Harry exclaimed.

"B-But Harry!" Sirius spluttered. "He doesn't deserve your mercy."

"I just don't think my dad would have wanted his two best friends to become murderers. We'll take him back to the castle. The Dementors can have him."

The colour drained from Pettigrew's features. A flick of Remus's wand and he was chained up. He levitated Snape and the group made their way back down the passage to the grounds.

It was dark and clouds veiled the moon. A strange sense of calm flooded the werewolf as he stood, inhaling deep breaths of fresh air, reunited with his childhood friend and within hours of James and Lily's souls being avenged. His eyes followed the dark criminal as he went to talk to his godson and Remus smiled. It was not right that Harry had been taken from Sirius's care.

He flicked his eyes to Peter, feeling anger well up in him. His wand hand quivered. Peter looked up and met his eyes triumphantly.

A wash of soft tingling flooded his veins. Silence reigned. He realised that Harry and Sirius had stopped talking. Hermione was supporting Ron, staring at the sky, eyes wide with horror. Snape was shivering, apparently awoken.

Pain lanced through his side, causing him to double over.

"Remus!" Sirius all but screamed.

Dread settled into a deep ache in his bones. The image of the gruesome steaming goblet on his desk filled his mind's eye and the fear began to set in. Slowly he turned. The moon hung as a full, glowing orb in the velvet sky.

Harry, Ron and Hermione huddled close, trembling.

Remus's wand hand twitched violently and the wand fell from his fingertips. Cackling with glee, Peter picked up the wand, pointed it at himself and sank down into rat form. He disappeared into the Forbidden Forest before anyone could react.

Remus screamed in agony as his bones reshaped themselves and his skin was torn to shreds and replaced. Stabbing pain signalled the change from colour vision to monochrome. His nose felt as though it were being stabbed with a thousand needles, before the wolf's beautiful vision in scent was revealed.

Sirius threw himself on to the werewolf, begging him to remember who he was. Remus struggled to reign in the wolf's power, but after his dependence on Wolfsbane, he found himself horribly out of practice. Sirius saw the last little bit of Remus fall apologetically into the wolf's intense amber stare before he was flung back into a tree trunk.

Severus Snape lurched to his feet and stepped purposefully in front of the students, wand drawn.

The tawny wolf threw back his head and let out a mournful, powerful howl. He crouched, ready to leap. Snape braced himself for the hit.

Just as the wolf leapt, a huge black dog met it mid-leap, and a vicious fight was soon in action.

Snape snapped at the students to run, before taking off towards the castle himself.

* * *

A/N: . . . . Not much to say. Except I've decided to take the song lyrics out of the beginning of the chapters. When I get around to it. Heh. BYE! 


	13. Renewal

A/N: Hi. Forgotten me yet?

* * *

**Renewal**

His head ached, his back ached, his shoulders ached, even his eyes seemed to ache. It hurt to move his head or even twitch his fingers. The white sheet covering his battered body was stained with blood and felt like a tonne of bricks weighing down on his body. With great effort, he forced his eyes open, squinting against the light. The feral glint in his eyes had faded. His tawny hair was matted and spread out over the pillow. Instead of resembling the fierce, powerful creature he had been the night before, he looked like nothing more than a broken man.

Memories of the previous night slowly rippled in. He patiently waited, having nothing else to do.

_**Walking down the passage from the Shrieking Shack. Levitating Snape. Pettigrew the betrayer. Talking. Fresh night air. Staring with horror at the people accompanying him. Moon hanging in the sky. The moment he fears above all others. **_

Everything else is a blur.

_**Biting, tearing flesh, freedom, Padfoot leaping towards him. Running, tearing, destroying.**_

Remus shuddered. The memories of his transformations were very rarely good ones. A realisation crept forward.

_Wormtail escaped._

Another thought followed.

_I have to tell Dumbledore_

Groaning, he pushed himself up on to his elbows. Before he could swing himself off the bed, he heard footsteps and voices approaching.

"Did you hear? They caught Black yesterday-"

Everything else faded out of Remus's mind. Sirius had been captured. That meant he was to receive the Kiss. He could not let that happen. Not now he was finally convinced of his old friend's innocence.

The werewolf all but threw himself off the bed. He picked up his wand, which had been lying on the table by his bedside, and shuffled out of the room, using the wand to clothe himself. The halls were, thankfully, deserted. Apparently, everyone was in class. He must have missed breakfast.

His mind ordered his stomach to growl with hunger, but it would not comply. He was not hungry.

Stumbling to a halt in front of the gargoyle, Remus frowned. "Uhm… Fizzing Whizbee? Chocolate frog?"

A rough, ominous clicking and roaring indicated the password was correct. Since before he attended Hogwarts, Dumbledore had used the names of various sweets as the password to his office, claiming it helped him to appease his inner child. Why he needed an inner child completely baffled Remus, since the headmaster had plenty of outer child left. However, such thoughts were to be kept for another time. This was the present and for once, Remus did not have the time to waste pondering about the nature of Albus Dumbledore. That infernal time-demon had once again hauled him by his hair into the present when he preferred to dwell on the past and dropped him there on his rear end as a subtle sign to _get a bloody clue._

The werewolf climbed the stairs as best he could, and practically fell into the office of Albus Dumbledore.

"Ah, Remus," he said with a bright, twinkling smile that seemed to Remus like obscene Christmas lights. "Poppy is turning the castle upside down in search of you. Lemon drop?"

"Enough with the lemon drops Albus!" He snapped irritably, head thudding. "Have you caught Sirius?"

Dumbledore calmly sipped his tea. "I am afraid to say that he was discovered yesterday."

Remus cursed breathily and fell into a chair. His heart plummeted to his toes, beating fast and erratically. "You can't let them perform the Kiss." A tremor was evident in his voice. "He's innocent Albus!"

"My dear boy, do contain yourself. Sirius Black was indeed captured last night but escaped before any action could be taken." He popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

Remus started breathing again. "H-How?"

"I must confess ignorance on that front Mr Lupin." The Headmaster's bright blue eyes took on a more sombre tone. "There is something else I must discuss with you."

"Oh?"

"Severus made an error in judgement this morning over breakfast."

Remus paled considerably. "He told everyone about my lycanthropy?"

Albus nodded gravely. "I need to know your response."

"My response? I can't say I wasn't expecting it. My time here has been borrowed time Albus. Of this, I am aware. I was lucky he told no one…before."

"**_Black!_ _What sort of disgusting prank is this?" A lanky, greasy haired boy calls into the passage before him. There is no one else in sight. _**

_**Suddenly, a pair of sharp, amber eyes breaks through the darkness before the boy's eyes. A large, tawny wolf leaps for him. **_

_**The wolf is knocked away by huge antlers belonging to a stag. The wolf snarls and turns away, oblivious to the whines and yelps of the dog hidden behind a rock. **_

Remus shook his head. It had been so hard to forgive Sirius for that incident. The animagus had a cruel streak that he and James had indulged with the tormenting of Severus Snape. The Potions Master had not come from a Dark family and Remus sometimes wondered if it had been partly their heartless cruelty towards the man that had caused him to join Lord Voldemort.

It was so hard to reconcile that broken, unhinged man, standing on the cliff of sanity with his toes hanging over the edge with the carefree but fiercely loyal boy Remus had known during his education.

"I think… No… I know I will be leaving. Thank you for this opportunity Albus. It has been a real eye-opener." Something settled in his chest and things seemed brighter, sharper, and clearer. Instead of drifting along like a stick thrown into a river, he was taking control again. After twelve years of living in the past, Remus Lupin was taking his life back.

"Very well Remus. I am sorry to see you go, and so I should think are many students and most of the staff."

"Thank you Albus," Remus repeated, standing up slowly.

"Oh! Poppy insisted I give you this, should I see you."

The headmaster handed a small vial of potion to Remus, smiling, the twinkle had returned in full force. "Pain relieving potion." He explained.

The werewolf smiled thankfully and downed the potion in one swallow. "Thank goodness for small miracles."

Albus studied him warily. "It is perhaps best if you do not take the Hogwarts Express on the return journey."

Remus inclined his head agreeably. He left the Headmaster's office with a strange bounce in his step for someone whose deepest secret has just been revealed to an entire school. Musing upon the sound of the hem of his tattered robe brushing the stone floor, he made his way to the Owlery to fetch Orion.

Upon entering the owl dung and pellet soiled room, he was met with an unexpected sight. The Overgrown Bat himself was bent almost double over a medium sized tawny owl, bribing it with owl treats. It was a great effort not to laugh, but the werewolf managed it. Perhaps this was the Fates' way of saying, 'yeah he told everyone you're a werewolf, but look at this! He talks to his owl.'

"Good morning Severus." He greeted, making his way over to his own owl. Orion climbed complacently on to his arm and started searching his pockets for food.

Snape was certain that Remus had eaten or drank something illegal to make him so damnably cheerful and not cursing him into small pieces. However, he dare not voice his concern for fear that said cursing might occur.

"Stop living in the past Severus," Remus advised on the way out. "Harry is not James and never will be."

A scathing remark bubbled to the Slytherin professor's lips, but what came out was entirely different to what he had planned. He straightened, holding his owl on his left arm.

"This is Isis, my owl. Look for her on the day of the full moon every month."

Remus searched his former colleague's dark eyes. He nodded slightly. "Thank you."

If he did not know better, he would have said the expression in Snape's eyes was apologetic. But really. This was Severus Snape and he did not _do_ apologies.

* * *

A/N: Just one more chapter and perhaps and anepilogue to go.. 


	14. Loose Ends and Memories

A/N:. :wince: I had no idea it had been so long! I have no excuse. I'm sorry... As a small compensation I've uploaded the last two chapters together. I hate to leave things unfinished. Man... That was a long break...

* * *

**Loose Ends and Memories**

For the second time that year, Harry discovered himself inside the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor's office, faced with the same awkward decision that was not quite a decision. In front of him, on the desk, lay that same pewter bowl, oozing silver vapour from cracks in the edges as well as the surface. The urge to reach out and delve into the promising silver pool almost overwhelmed him.

However, before he could give in, the door swung open to admit the professor, or former professor as he was now, and his owl. He made crooning sounds under his breath to the owl, as well as revealing to him exactly what had made this year so weird.

"-And Snape looking almost apologetic? He'd have a heart attack if he knew I noticed that!"

Orion hooted in agreement, and then left his owner's shoulder to perch on the intruding student's head. Harry yelped and flapped his hands at the offending owl.

"I wasn't doing anything you infernal bird!" He protested. "Get off! I was only looking for the Professor!"

Remus threw a chunk of owl treat into a rusty looking cage. The owl hurriedly followed it, bashing Harry's head with his beating wings. Orion crashed into the back bars, reminding Harry considerably of Errol, the Weasly family's owl.

Wordlessly, Remus walked around to the other side of his desk and began to close packs and suitcases. A huge box that looked like a wardrobe folded itself to the size of a large briefcase. If he was perturbed by Harry's presence, it did not show. He dropped the battered suitcase that Harry had seen on the train on to the table and began to fill it with parchment, quills and inks.

"Can I help you Harry?" He asked, after another moment's contemplation. He had expected fear in the boy's eyes, in fact he had not expected in a million years to see the boy in his office after the fiasco the previous night.

"I was just wondering…" He trailed off, taking in for the first time what the professor was doing. "You're leaving?"

"This morning over breakfast, professor Snape _accidentally _let slip that I am a werewolf. Tomorrow the owls will start arriving. Parents will not want a werewolf teaching their children." He spoke in a matter of fact way, as if it were someone else.

"You were sacked?"

"Indeed not. I resigned. What was it you wanted Harry?"

"I want to know more about my parents."

Short, to the point. Clearly, he had not the gift for elaboration and melodrama that James had. James would probably have never described a spoon in less than four words.

Remus contemplated the pensieve. Surely, it could not hurt to introduce the boy to a few images of his parents. After all, he had just been put into a confrontation with three of his father's old friends and a nemesis, learned that the man whom he had thought betrayed them had not and seen a supposed dead man emerge from a rat. Not something a thirteen-year-old wizard should have to experience. The werewolf sighed and rested his head on his hands for a moment.

"I will show you some of my memories if you wish, Harry." He indicated the pewter bowl.

"You would let me do that?"

"Yes. Better than allowing you to explore it on your own, as you no doubt would have, given half the chance." He smiled and stood, up, holding out his hand to Harry.

The student clasped his hand uncertainly.

They tumbled head first into the silver mist, flashes of memories overwhelming Harry's eyes until he had to close them to ward off a headache. With a sharp twist that turned his stomach, they stopped. Remus let go of his hand.

"Where are we?" Looking around, Harry discovered that he did not have to ask. The rocking motions of the carriage, the old-fashioned red cushioned seats and the sliding windows told him that he was on board the Hogwarts Express.

"**_How about this one?"_**

"**_There's someone in there Sirius."_**

_**Footsteps approach the cabin.**_

Harry looked around. Upon first glance, he had not noticed the small boy sitting by the window. His robes were clearly too big, his tawny hair showed misleading streaks of grey and his amber eyes looked too big for his face. Nevertheless, it was obviously a younger version of the man standing beside him.

_**The compartment door opens and two black haired boys step inside. **_

"**_Hey," The taller of the two greets. Bright blue eyes shine with something unrecognisable. "Do you mind if we sit here? Only everywhere else is full."_**

_**Remus looks up and shakes his head before dropping his gaze back to his lap. His hands are shaking.**_

_**The boy who had spoken drops into the seat next to Remus. "I'm Sirius Black," he announces, draping an arm over the boy's shoulders. "I'm a nice guy; don't let my name fool you."**_

"**_James Potter," the bespectacled boy extends his hand._**

_**Remus eyes it dubiously for a moment. Then he hesitantly takes the hand and shakes it, letting go quickly as if it had burned him.**_

"**_Don't worry, we don't bite," Sirius assures, hugging the boy against his side. _**

_**Remus mutters something under his breath.**_

Beside Harry, the adult Remus repeated the child's words in a low voice. "But I do."

Something pulled at his gut and he found himself twisting painfully through decades of memory. The second stop was even more nauseating than the first.

"**_Go out with me Evans!"_**

"**_Not a chance Potter!"_**

"Second year," Remus informed Harry quietly.

_**A boy with tousled black hair jogs over, grabs James by the arm and pulls him away. Twelve-year-old Remus shrugs, and opens his book. **_

_**Moments later, he is accosted by a chubby Gryffindor demanding his attention. **_

"**_Remus come with me! We have to talk to you. Alone."_**

_**Dejectedly, Remus follows, the book dangling limply from his fingers. **_

_**They enter a room through a door in the wall that Remus did not know existed. The moment he steps through the door, a blur of black flies at him and Sirius has him by the throat.**_

"**_You bloody idiot! Why didn't you tell us? Why!" He gives the werewolf a violent shake. "We're your friends dammit!"_**

_**James steps out of the shadows and a smile twists his lips. "Did you think we wouldn't find out?" He adjusts his glasses on his nose and lifts a huge tome into the light. Remus shivers as he catches sight of the title - "Creatures of the night Encyclopaedia. Succubus to Werewolf. "**_

_**James begins to read. " "How to recognise a werewolf in human form- Frequent disappearances that coincide with the full moon, preoccupation with astronomy or the moon in particular, eyes often change in colour throughout the lunar cycle, becoming more amber as the full moon approaches." Any of this sounding familiar Sirius?"**_

"**_Let's see," He growls. "Remus is often ill, and it just so happens to be on the full moon. He's always in the hospital wing in the morning. He gets top marks in Astronomy and has a lunar chart posted to the wall behind his bed. Today his eyes are grey, but I'm seeing little flecks of orange." He pushes Remus harder against the wall. _**

_**The aforementioned eyes fill with tears. Remus cannot meet their eyes.**_

"**_Also, it says here that another characteristic of werewolves is that they have a lot of scars, and one particular scar known as the 'maker's mark' which shows where they were first bitten and turned." _**

_**Sirius's eyes rake over his friend's body. "I can't see one… Where is it Remus?"**_

"**_I d-don't know what you're talking about." He tries, voice shaking. _**

"**_Don't even try to deny it. You're a werewolf. We know." Peter speaks for the first time since they entered the room._**

_**Remus raises his chin and levelly looks at his aggressor. "All right. I give. Now that you know, what are you going to do about it?"**_

_**Nobody speaks. Sirius releases Remus and he falls unsteadily to his feet where he is immediately engulfed in a tight hug. **_

"**_Oh _Remus. _Why didn't you tell us, you infernal idiot?" Sirius questions, almost sobbing into his friend's hair. _**

_**Hesitantly, Remus raises his arms to return the hug. "Y-You don't hate me?"**_

"**_Did you really think we were that shallow?" James questions. "We just had to be sure."_**

"**_But what are you going to do?"_**

Remus grabbed Harry's arm and whisked them away to another memory. He brushed a tear from his eye as they landed, not wanting the teen to see his weakness.

_**Three men stand by an archway of flowers. A tall, elderly man stands beneath the arch, grinning at the congregated guests and conjuring novelty items to amuse the children. **_

_**In front of the arch, on the left side, stands a wizard of medium height and medium build. Round glasses perch on the bridge of his nose, and unruly dark hair falls into his hazel eyes. Behind him stands to more wizards, standing side by side. One with shoulder blade length hair so dark it gleams blue in the sunlight and shining blue eyes, the other with hair that is almost entirely silver hanging neatly to his earlobes and getting longer towards the back. His eyes shine amber in the failing sunlight and he looks so willowy that it seems possible a strong enough wind could break him in half. **_

"Is that you and Sirius?" Harry asked, leaning across to Remus.

The older wizard smiled and nodded. "We were different back then."

Upon closer inspection, Harry realised that the bespectacled man was the only one in a muggle suit. Sirius and Remus were dressed in dark wizard's robes. Following the line of their arms down, he was surprised to discover that their hands were entwined. Chasing Harry's gaze, Remus smiled.

_**A woman walks slowly across the grass causing the hem of her ivory robe to swish across the green tips. She takes the bespectacled man's hand and they turn towards the arch.**_

_**The elderly wizard, who is clearly Albus Dumbledore, begins to speak. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Witches and Wizards, we are here today to bear witness to the union of these two people."**_

"Are they my parents?" Harry asked, although it was clear to him by the man's hair and glasses and the woman's hair and eyes that they were.

"Of course Harry. Are you ready to leave?"

Tears welled up in the boy's eyes. His father's old friend had given him a glimpse, just a glimpse of his parents and what they were like. He had been given a wonderful gift.

He nodded.

This time, he barely noticed the sickening lurch and the nauseating spins. When his feet touched the solid ground of Remus's now ex-office, he sighed in relief.

Remus smiled ambiguously and slid the pewter bowl into a suitcase. He stood and his knees cracked painfully.

"Professor. Were you and Sirius, holding hands?" Harry asked curiously, aware that his curiosity was most likely unwanted.

"Sirius and I were always particularly affectionate. Perhaps it came from us both having unaffectionate childhoods. I mean, who wants to be friends with a werewolf, hm? And Sirius's family were none too pleasant." He closed the lid of his preposterously small suitcase with a sense of finality. "Anything further is up to Sirius to disclose to you."

As if sensing the conversation was over, Harry turned to the door. "Thank you professor. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me."

"Harry, you can repay me by taking care of yourself. Take no unnecessary risks. Keep your friends close to you. And most of all, don't forget who you are. Goodbye Harry. I hope I see you again soon."

A rush of air and Harry was left alone in the empty room. He dropped onto the ground in shock and amazement.

Twenty minutes later, Remus Lupin was striding out of the huge wrought iron front gates. As he walked to a safe apparating distance, he mentally whispered to himself:

_Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back. Don't look back._

Just as his feet lifted off the ground and his destination flowed into his mind, he looked back. He looked back just in time to see Hogwarts whisked away from him as he faded out.


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue - The Edge**

Remus is startled at the dustiness of his tiny cottage. Everything is coated with a layer of grey dust that seemed to hug his furniture possessively.

He hangs up his cloak on the peg behind the door and makes his way into the kitchen. He fills the kettle with water and sets it upon the hob to boil. His suitcase sullenly stalks upstairs to unpack itself.

Remus leans against the worktop, watching the kettle boil. When it is done, he pours himself a cup of tea and shuffles into the lounge. Tattered slippers jump on to his feet as he sinks into his favourite and only armchair.

He sighs and raises the cup to his lips. The sweet taste of honey and sugar mix with the woody taste of the black tea in his mouth. It tastes like home.

_Tomorrow, _He muses, _I will clean this house._

Lack of sleep the previous night was catching up to him. His bones ache and his eyelids feel heavy. Gently, he places the teacup on to the end table beside him. The dust rises up off the table huffily and proceeds to fill Remus's nose, making him sneeze.

It is not long until sleep overtakes the werewolf.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Remus, moments after he had fallen asleep, a huge black dog lets itself into his home. Shaking off the dog form, Sirius stands up, completely naked. He plucks Remus's cloak from the peg and wraps it around himself as he walks further into the house. 

Sirius smiles at the sight of the werewolf asleep in his chair. He places the letter he has carried in his canine teeth on the table, beneath Remus's cup.

Slate eyes drink in the image of his former lover and his heart feels heavy at the knowledge that they will not be able to pick up where they left off. Although the past twelve years had been nothing to Sirius, doubtless they were something to Remus. He had twelve years of life that had been taken from Sirius.

The animagus blinks through the tears in his eyes. He stretches out a hand to run the tip of his forefinger down Remus's cheek. The werewolf still holds the same secret elegance and air of innocence that had first drawn Sirius to him. However, his face is lined and his hair is almost pure silver.

Sirius's hand drops to Remus's chest, above his heart. Through the thin fabric, he feels the deep gashes of the werewolf's mark.

A flicker of light catches his eye and he looks up. His eyes are met by the wispy figure of a woman standing behind Remus. He can see straight through her entire body. Pale hair floats around her as if where she is, gravity does not exist. Her eyes are impossibly crimson and tears of blood streak her pale face. She is smiling and holding up a pocket watch.

_Tick tock._

The sound is so loud that it echoes around the room.

Sirius inhales sharply and blinks. He looks again at the spot behind Remus's chair, but it is empty.

_My imagination._

He leans across to place a soft goodbye kiss upon Remus's lips. Later, he would swear that he felt an intake of breath through Remus's mouth, allowing the lips to part ever so slightly.

"Goodbye Remus."

As he leaves, Sirius makes sure that everything is replaced where it ought to be.

Opening his eyes, Remus takes in the sight of the envelope upon his table. _Moony_, the envelope read.

Slicing the envelope open with a nail, he extracts the letter within.

Because Remus deserves a short reprieve, the contents of that letter shall remain a secret.

* * *

_Stones crumble beneath his feet as he watches the waves crash against the rocks beneath him. His dark hair tumbles messily in the rough wind. His eyes tear up at the sting of the salt spray._

_Behind him, another boy approaches, squinting. He calls out to the dark haired boy, who turns around. The newcomer stretches out a hand. Hesitantly, the boy moves away from the edge and grasps the hand, allowing the boy to lead him away from the cliff._

_He does not look back. _

* * *

_A/N: Ah the end. The feeling of completion is upon me. I shall ride the wave of satisfaction into the realms of... yeah.. Right. Anyway, I feel good, because I've finished. Ultimate goal! hehe_

_I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has stuck with this story and everyone who has read it, even if you haven't reviewed. Thank you and GOODNIGHT!_


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